Heal This Heartbreak
by Claire O'Donnell
Summary: Hermione and Jasper were dating but he left her suddenly with no reason. A heartbroken Hermione is now dying and Jasper has sent Edward to save her. Now Hermione must adjust to life as a vampire. Hermione is muggle in this story!
1. Chapter 1

I stared Jasper straight into his dark green eyes, not quite believing what he had just told me.

My brain refused to register it all in. was he joking?

Jasper just continued to stare back at me.

"Please say something Hermione." He whispered.

I just shook my head, trying to shake his words out of my head.

"I don't know what to say Jasper." I told him truthfully.

"I meant what I said. I am going through a lot of changes right now and it is best we end it now, before I hurt you." He said.

I stared at him now in anger.

"Hurt me? You already have hurt me! There is no reason for you ending this! I thought you were happy with me." I said, my voice starting to tremble.

"I can't explain it to you, I just can't."

"Why the hell not? Don't you trust me?" I asked him.

He looked at me shocked.

"Of course I trust you." He said.

"You clearly don't otherwise you would tell me what is going on." I pleaded with him.

I needed to know why he was ending our relationship, what I could have possibly done to make him leave me like this.

"If I could tell you I would." Jasper said.

I scoffed.

"You are full of excuses. You might as well just tell you hate me and be truthful." I felt a tear escape down my cheek as I said it.

Jasper sighed.

"I am so sorry, Hermione." He kissed me on the cheek and walked away from me.

I couldn't stop more tears escaping as I watched him walk away. I started to quietly sob and soon it all rushed over me.

I slumped to the floor, my head in my hands and just let the sobs control me.

How could he walk away from me? How could he treat me like this?

The last 3 months raced through my head as I tried to search for something that could explain this.

Jasper and I had met randomly at a party through a mutual friend. My first impression of him was that he was a bit geeky but he won me over by making me laugh.

After that he took me on a date and I fell for him pretty fast. He was smart, funny and kind. Everything I wanted in a boyfriend.

Soon we were in a relationship and it did move pretty quickly.

But I fell in love with him and we spoke about moving in together. Just as quickly as our relationship progressed it fell apart.

Jasper had become distant and I started to see less of him.

And now here I was, crying into my own lap as he left my life for good.

**6 Months later.**

My Mum was having much luck keeping her sobs quiet.

I looked through the window of my private room and watched as the doctor was speaking to my parents.

My Dad's arm was placed round my Mum's shoulder as she sobbed into his.

I watched the doctor pull a sympathetic look at my Mum before walking away.

My Dad pulled my Mum into a tighter hug and I saw that even my Dad was crying.

I slumped further into the bed, trying to ignore the lump building up in my throat.

I had put myself here in this hospital bed. It was my own fault I was hooked up to this stupid drip 24/7.

And now here I was, watching my parents suffer as well.

Finally the door opened and my parents walked into the room.

My Mum sat on the bed at the side of me, her eyes were red raw.

My Dad stood at the foot of the bed and I could see he was trying so hard not to cry.

"Hermione, baby. We've just spoken to the doctor and…" Her voice cracked and she broke down into uncontrollable sobs.

My Dad rushed over to her and put his arm round her.

"I can't do it." She whispered.

Tears fell from my own eyes as I looked at my Mum and Dad.

"I'm dying aren't I?" I finally said.

My Mum let out a sob and I heard my Dad sniff.

"The doctor told us your BMI is dangerously low. There are not enough nutrients in your body to keep it working properly. Everything will slowly stop… working." My Dad said.

I stared at the wall opposite me.

"How long?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Baby, don't ask that question." My Mum cried.

I stared at the wall and asked the question again.

"Days." Was all my Dad said.

I nodded silently.

"Can you please leave me on my own?" I whispered.

My Mum kissed me on the forehead and they both quietly left the room.

The lump in my throat was starting to burn but I refused to let it win.

Wasn't this ultimately what I wanted? To die?

I purposely starved myself for six months surely knowing it would all come down to this moment. The moment where I have only days to live before my body starts to shut down around me.

This was what I wanted and I was getting it.

So why did I feel ashamed and empty?

My Mum blamed all this on Jasper but really it was me being a selfish little madam. I stopped eating pretty much the day he left.

I started to live on a grape a day thinking that was all the food I needed.

I needed to harm myself, make myself feel better.

Every time I looked in the mirror I didn't see a skinny little runt, I saw a failure, and I wasn't going to fail at this.

The worst part about it was I didn't look anorexic. I had always been naturally skinny so nobody questioned me losing weight because it didn't look like I was.

Now though I was dying and causing my Mum and Dad to cry.

I didn't deserve to live.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who read the story and to who is now following it. =) It is muchly appriecated. And thanks to crazedchick for her review. So here' the next one -**

I watched as my Mum and Dad left my hospital room.

My Mum hadn't stopped crying the whole time she had been here and it was starting to wear me out. I didn't need people crying around me all the time; I needed something to keep my spirits up.

I lay further down into the bed and stared at the clock on the wall.

1:00 Am. My Mum and Dad always stayed ridiculously late. They basically refused to leave my side and it was starting to get frustrating. It was as if they wanted to watch me die and who wants to watch that?

I suddenly began to cough, a dry rusty cough that I was starting to develop.

I reached for the glass of water at the side of my bed and gulped it down until I could finally feel its cooling effects.

I took a deep breathe and sighed before lying back down.

It had only been 3 days since I had been told I was dying and boy it was working fast. I constantly got chest pains, this stupid cough developed and I was now beginning to have difficultly breathing.

I closed my eyes and listened as the door to my room crept open.

I didn't really take much notice until I felt something heavy sit at the side of me.

I slowly opened my eyes and had to readjust them to see clearly.

I didn't recognize the person as I looked up. It was a young boy, about my age at 17, who had pale white skin and Bronze colored hair. He was wearing a grey pea coat and jeans. His eyes were beautiful as I continued to stare into them. A golden topaz color that almost hypnotic.

I must have been dreaming because he looked almost like an angel. Or maybe I was dead.

"You must be Hermione." He whispered almost inaudible.

I just nodded, unable to take my eyes off him. He was, he was definitely an angel. No doubt at all now in my mind.

"Jasper sent me." He whispered again.

It was like someone had ripped my heart in two at the sound of Jasper's name. I slammed my eyes shut, determined not to cry in front of the angel.

But wait, Jasper?!

"Jasper sent you? Is he dead as well?" I asked in a croaked voice.

The angel smiled this gorgeous crooked smile and laughed slightly.

"Sort of, it's hard to explain." He smiled again.

I just looked at him getting increasingly confused.

"I can't really explain it to you right now but I am here to save you." He said.

I finally pulled my eyes away from him and stared at my feet at the bottom of the bed.

"I don't want to be saved, just take me to heaven with you." I said.

The angel laughed slightly again.

I looked at him, his topaz eyes shining so brightly.

"You are an angel aren't you?" I asked him.

"Not quite." He said, his eyebrows creasing.

"Then what are you?" I asked him.

"I'm not human that much I can tell you."

I raised an eyebrow.

"My name is Edward Cullen and I am friend of Jasper's. Jasper heard of your situation through a member of our family and he is worried about you. That he may have caused you to be in this situation. He asked me to come and help and I can't honestly say I wanted to at first but this is how we all ended up being this way so I suppose he isn't doing anything wrong." Edward informed me.

Everything he had just said made no sense to me at all.

"Why didn't Jasper come?" I finally managed to ask.

Edward's eyebrows creased together again.

"It wasn't safe for Jasper to come." He said.

He got up off the bed and stared down at me.

I still believed he was an angel. No-one could look that beautiful and not be something magical.

He smiled.

Slowly he pulled down the shoulder of my pajama top, something inside me told me not to stop him. That this was the angel who was putting me out of my misery, that I should trust him. In normal circumstances I would have punched him by now but for some reason I trusted him.

He leant his head down towards my shoulder and I shut my eyes waiting for whatever was coming next.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain go through my whole body.

My body refused to let me scream as the pain began to turn into burning sensation and it raged all round my body.

It was unbearable and I screamed in my head for myself to die quicker to make the pain end.

As suddenly as it came it stopped and the room started to disappear around me before everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thought I'd add this one as well just because it doesn't really move the story along just introduces the Cullens.**

I slowly began to open my eyes.

The first thing I noticed was how great my eyesight was. I could literally see every speck of dust in the room.

Which then lead me to notice that this was an unfamiliar room to me. In fact I had never seen this room before in my life.

This was it. I was dead.

The angel must have killed me and I was now in the afterlife.

I heard voices that were clearly coming from downstairs but sounded as though they were right beside me.

"Just go up and see if she is awake."

"She needs to take it all in before she comes down and sees us lot."

"I am telling you she is already awake."

I didn't recognize a single voice but had a strong feeling they were talking about me.

I got up out of the bed and opened the door.

I had no clue at all where I was and just followed the voices as they carried on talking.

"I should be the one to see her first."

I stopped dead in my tracks. I did recognize _that_ voice and it pierced through my whole body.

If I was dead how come I still felt this pain?

I breathed heavily but suddenly realized this was the first time I had taken a breath since I had woken up.

I looked up and saw a young girl looking at me.

She was beautiful and almost pixie looking. Her dark hair was cut into a short crop and spiked in all different directions, and she was probably no taller than 5ft. She had the same pale skin as Edward and the same topaz colored eyes.

"Ah see I told them you had woken up but they wouldn't listen to me." She said, holding out a hand for me to hold.

"Is Jasper down there?" I croaked.

Her hand slowly moved away from me.

"Of course he is. Don't you want to see him?" She asked me, her voice sounded almost as if she was singing.

I stared at her. My body felt like it wanted to cry but for some reason my eyes refused to let the tears come through.

"No." I finally whispered.

The pixie girl looked at me sympathetically and then smiled.

"You'll be fine once you're down there." She spoke as though she was 100% certain that sentence would come true.

I just looked at her, pleading with my eyes.

"You can stand here pulling the puppy dog look on me all you want, you're going down stairs." She said, but not in a menacing tone.

This time instead of asking for my hand, she grabbed it from my side.

For a small girl she was really strong and before I knew I was down the stairs.

Staring back at me were four faces I didn't know and Edward.

Behind Edward was Jasper.

I swallowed though I didn't really need to and looked down at the floor.

"Welcome to our home Hermione." One of women said to me.

She was just a bit taller than the pixie girl. Her hair was a caramel colour but not as bronze as Edwards, her face was heart shaped with dimples as she smiled, her smile seemed warm and friendly and her figure was slender but just like everyone, including Jasper, she had pale white skin and topaz eyes.

She walked towards me with her arms out stretched and pulled me into a hug.

I kept my hands glued to my sides and she pulled me out of the hug and looked me straight in the eyes.

She allowed her arms to drop back down to her sides.

"I'm Esme." She informed me.

I just nodded absent mindly.

The man standing next to her, who was much taller than her, had model good looks. He was also slender but muscular and had bright white hair, just a few shades darker than his skin, turned to me next.

Instead of hugging me, he put his arm around Esme.

"And I am Carlisle, Esme's husband." He smiled, his teeth were glaring bright.

Even more so with my high definition eyesight I had so magically got.

I wasn't taking in anything they said to me as the biggest lad out of them all came bounding over to me.

He towered over me and his muscles were something that a body builder would have been proud of. He had dark curly hair and he also had dimples when he smiled. He hadn't stopped smiling since I came down stairs.

He picked me up in an embrace and then gently put me back to my feet.

I watched him in complete shock as he told me his name was Emmett.

He laughed a loud booming laugh before putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll be putting you to the test." He smiled before retreating back to the rest of the angels.

The girl he stood next to was so pretty she looked like she had stepped out of a fashion magazine.

Her long blonde hair literally flowed all the way down to her waist and her facial features were perfected as though she was sculpted like a statue. She simply oozed elegance, class and beauty. She didn't smile at me, adopting a pout instead.

She also didn't leave Emmett's side.

"I'm Rosalie." She told me, looking at me intently as she did so.

I just nodded again, finding this whole situation confusing.

The pixie girl danced in front of me and gave me a gentle hug.

"And I'm Alice, we're gonna be best friends." She smiled, before standing next to Edward.

I took a moment to take a longer look at Edward. He was impossibly beautiful, the most beautiful of them all. His facial features were perfect. High cheekbones, strong jaw line, a straight nose and full lips. I saw more clearly with my new eyesight that his hair was a gorgeous shade of bronze and quite messy yet somehow styled. He could almost be compared to a God.

I snapped my stare away from Edward.

I stood there and looked at the line of beautiful people. Each one of them pretty much perfection.

But as they stood smiling at me, welcoming me almost, I caught sight of Jasper hiding behind Edward's shoulder.

Anger built up inside my body and I had to suppress the urge to go over and rip him into two pieces.

Instead I stared back at the angels and sighed.

"And is some going enlighten me on what the hell is going on?" I finally said, though I hardly recognised my own voice.

Edward chuckled and Emmett's booming laugh filled the room once more.

"Of course we are." Carlisle said.

I stared at him waiting.

"We are not angels that I can tell you. And you are not dead, well for all purposes. Me and my family we are…. Vampires." Carlisle said.

I just stared at him not knowing whether to laugh at what he had just said.

"Vampire's don't exist." I said.

Emmett laughed again.

"So you believe in angels but not vampires?" He said.

I opened my mouth to reply but realised he was correct. Why should one magical thing be real and not another one?

But as I continued to look at the "family" nothing about their appearance struck me as vampires.

I raised an eyebrow at them.

"I think you may have to elaborate on the whole vampire thing." I said.

Carlisle nodded and motioned for me to sit on the couch behind his shoulder.

I did as I was told as the rest of them sat around me, apart from Jasper who didn't even move an inch.

"This isn't going to be easy to take it so I need you to just listen to me without any interruption and ask questions at the end. Deal?" Carlisle said.

I nodded at him and took in a sharp intake of breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know it's a short one but again it's information we all know really, just some background on the Cullens.**

I stared back at the pale faces staring straight back at me before giving Carlisle my undivided attention.

"I want to start by telling you we are not like your movie vampires; there are a lot of differences. So no coffins, no stake through heart and no garlic. The one thing we do have in common though is that we feast on blood. But me and my family we don't feast on human blood, we eat animal blood. Something along the lines of vegetarian vampires." All of the others laughed and Carlisle carried on.

"I have been a vampire myself for over 300 years, vampires are immortal. You'll be 17 forever." He informed me.

I smiled slightly. That wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"I was on my own for a very long time and I found that I could quench my thirst for human blood by eating animals. In 1918, I met Edward here who was dying from Spanish Influenza. As I was a doctor in the hospital, I looked after Edward and his mother as they were both suffering from the disease. She begged me to save her son and I admit I did it out of loneliness. Edward became my first adopted son."

"In 1921, I met Esme who was in hospital after a failed suicide attempt after her baby son died. I felt compelled to save Esme to give her a chance at life. I fell in love with Esme and we later married."

"Rosalie I found lying in the gutter in Rochester after her horrible, drunk fiancé left her to die. She became my first adopted daughter. She came across Emmett after he was mauled by a bear and she brought him to me so I could change him. And that's how Emmett became my son."

"Alice, alas, I did not transform myself. Instead Alice found us and we took her in as one of our own. Alice's history is sadly very vague."

"And finally Jasper…" Carlisle started.

I raised my hand for him to stop, which he did.

"I don't mean to interrupt but that I don't want to hear form you. Jasper himself must tell me this." I said.

I saw Carlisle look at Jasper, who still hadn't moved, before looking back at me and nodding.

"I wanted you to know, Hermione, that I did not change these people because I was selfish but to rescue them from dying. And is why we allowed you to become one of use, because you were also dying."

"Being a vampire you will discover that you are a completely new person. Your skin is as pale as ours and will feel like marble to anyone who is not a vampire. You will find that you are faster than you have ever been before, stronger than you ever could have imagined and your eyesight will be quite simply amazing. Even your hearing will be superhuman as will your sense of smell. Vampires do not need to eat or sleep and we do not cry or sweat." Carlisle finally stopped and the room was silent.

I nodded taking everything in.

"I want to put it to the test." I said, again my voice sounding unlike my own.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle said.

"I want to see how fast I am, how strong I am and how resilient to human blood I am." I said, sitting up straight.

"You are a newborn vampire; your quest for human blood will be at its highest peak." Carlisle said.

I nodded and chewed over this information.

"I still want to put it to the test." I said.

Carlisle smiled.

"In that case, Edward will take you hunting."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to all the people who are following this story, it makes me smile. And thanks to the people who have reviewed. To hear good comments is just ace. =)**

**I know this is very similar to Breaking Dawn so I should do that thing where I say I don't own anything. "I don't own any of this." Anyway after this chapter it won't be so similar to Breaking Dawn because everything is kind of eased in now and it becomes more about Hermione. **

**Sorry I am rambling, just don't want anyone thinking I am unorginal. I have tried not to copy too much, I promise.**

**Anyhoo enjoy...**

* * *

Carlisle stared at me and I was pretty sure he was going to shout at me.

Edward stood and so did I.

Carlisle didn't shout though instead he turned to Edward and smiled.

"You need to keep a close eye on her." He said to him.

Emmett also stood up.

"I'll come with." He said.

I smiled. I kind of like Emmett and his attitude. He seemed like he wouldn't pressure me and instead just have fun.

Carlisle nodded at Emmett as if agreeing.

"Be careful and come back at any sign of human's" Carlisle instructed them.

For some reason I wasn't craving human blood. In fact I wasn't craving any blood at all. Maybe this was a new vampire thing; something eventually that would come to me.

I looked at Edward and he stared back at me with his topaz eyes.

"You ready?" He asked me.

I nodded.

Edward and Emmett walked towards the front door and I followed them.

But something caught my eye in the mirror. Someone I didn't recognize.

She had gorgeous shiny mousey brown hair, pale skin and perfect complexion. She had the same pajamas on as I had on in the hospital but her eyes were a deep blood red. I stared further into the mirror, getting closer even though my eyesight was perfect.

It was me.

I stared back at myself not taking my eyes off my red eyes. They made look… well like a vampire. Despite the fact I had never looked better in my life, my eyes were disgusting me.

"Why are my eyes red?" I asked, not really directing the question at anyone in particular.

Edward stood behind me and instantly he made me feel ugly despite my new appearance.

"All newborn vampires start off with red eyes. In a few months your eyes will change to the same golden color as ours." He told me.

I shook my head.

"But… why red?" I repeated.

He smiled that same crooked smile he did in the hospital.

"Because your body thirsts for human blood. Plus your body still has human blood inside of it." He said.

"But I am not thirsting any kind of blood." I said.

He smiled again.

"Wait till we get out there hunting."

I looked at him and motioned for him to carried on out the house which he did.

And I followed again.

Once outside the house Edward and Emmett looked at one another, smiled and then sped off into the woods opposite at near enough 100mph.

I stared after them, open mouthed.

I remembered what Carlisle had told me about running faster than I could have dreamed off and stood on my toes getting ready to launch myself after the guys.

Suddenly it felt like I was lifted off the ground.

I ran just as fast as they had done but it was like my feet were hardly touching the ground.

The wind in my face felt so amazing even though I couldn't feel if the wind was cold or not.

In seconds I had over taken Edward and Emmett and carried sprinting for as long as my feet would let me.

Suddenly I stopped. I smelt something.

Something that I craved. That I felt I had to have there and then.

It smelt like… blood. But for some strange reason I wanted to drink it.

I looked through the trees and saw a middle aged man with a backpack on his back and a metal walking stick. He was whistling a happy tune to himself.

My mouth crept up at the corners and I realized it was his blood I wanted so badly.

I breathed the smell in deeply and then turned to face him.

Ready to lift myself off to my amazing speed and give him no chance of escaping.

As I put one foot in front of the other, I suddenly stop.

A wave of panic flooded over my body. I had just wanted to kill an innocent human being just for his blood. To ease my cravings.

If my body had allowed me to cry, the tears would have been spilling down my cheeks.

I turned the way I had came and raced back, as far away from the man as possible.

I passed Edward and Emmett again and carried on running before stopping a short distance from them.

They both ran towards me.

"Are you ok?" Emmett asked me.

"No, I saw a human and I nearly went to kill him." I told them, expecting to be out of breathe but not even a little.

"Wait, nearly? How did you…" Edward started.

"Come on we'll take her to where we usually hunt." Emmett suggested.

I saw Edward nod and he grabbed my hand. I ran alongside him and Emmett trying to get the smell of blood out of my head.

Edward and Emmett took me to a lake deep in the woods and both of them crouched down so I followed.

I saw Edward lift his head and I craned my neck to see what he was looking at.

Across the lake was a female deer that was drinking the water from the lake. She was joined by another two female deer and Emmett looked at Edward as if to say perfect.

I took a big sniff and the blood did smell appetizing but no where near as satisfying as the human I had smelt earlier.

"OK when I say go, pounce." He whispered so quietly no human would ever have heard.

But I did and I nodded. Emmett wasn't listening.

"Go!" Edward suddenly said.

I watched as he and Emmett lept through the air. I quickly followed them and grabbed a deer. My instant reaction was to break its neck before it ran off and I heard it crack under me. The deer fell lifelessly to the floor.

I looked at it and for some reason wanted to suck it dry of its blood. I felt like a monster.

Edward and Emmett were drinking their deer so I followed suit.

I sank my teeth into its skin with great ease as if my teeth were razor sharp and drank.

It tasted good. Not great but good.

After a few minutes, the deer was drained and I looked at it while I wiped the blood from around my mouth.

Despite the fact I had killed it myself with my own bare hands, I suppose it was as bad as eating a McDonald's hamburger. Animals had to die for that. It made me feel like less of a monster.

But still I felt like I was empty. Like I needed more.

In short of killing a human though, I didn't know how to get the satisfaction.

"Anything better than deer?" I asked.

"Only if you can catch a mountain lion." Emmett said.

I raised an eyebrow.

A mountain lion?

I sniffed, trying to see if I could smell anything that smelt good enough.

I smelt something. It wasn't human blood but it smelt better than deer.

I raced off after it and heard Edward and Emmett running behind me. They were fast but no nearly as fast as me.

All of a sudden I saw it, standing deep in the woods. Much deeper than I had ever been in woods before.

The lion spotted me and tried to run as fast as it could from me.

But I was much faster than it, faster than any creature in fact. I jumped on its back and cracked its neck the same as I had done with the deer.

The lion slumped to the floor and I stood over it.

With no hesitation I sunk my teeth into it and starting drinking the blood.

This was much better, something actually fulfilling.

The lion was cleaned out of its blood and I stood up licking my lips.

I turned to see Edward and Emmett staring at me.

"No…way!" Emmett said, looking at me wide eyed.

I smiled smugly at him before running towards the Cullen's house.

I smelt it again. The human.

I stopped dead and the guys skidded to halt in front of me.

"You OK, Hermione?" Emmett asked.

Edward sniffed and then looked at me, clearly smelling it to.

I looked through the trees; it was the same human as before. He was still whistling and I still wanted to kill him. I got ready to go, to kill him like I had done with the deer and the lion.

I snapped out my thoughts and stared at the helpless human.

Edward and Emmett were ready to stop me in case I attacked but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

It was one thing killing animals but another human being.

He could be a father, someone's husband, the love of their life.

I shook the vile thoughts out of my head, and span on my heels back towards the Cullen's.

I stopped by the front door and waited for the guys to catch up.

"What do you mean you can't hear what she is thinking?" I heard Emmett say.

I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"I mean exactly that. What else do you need to know?" Edward said.

"But you can read everyone's mind."

"Everyone expect her."

They stood in front of me.

"You can read minds?" I asked.

Edward nodded.

"Some vampires have special powers. Alice can see into the future and I can read minds. Jasper…" Edward started.

I shuddered at the mention of Jasper's name and Edward seemed to notice.

Quickly wanting to change the subject I asked Edward why he couldn't read my mind.

"I don't know. It's very frustrating. I would love to know what you are thinking." He said.

I smiled. I kind of liked that he couldn't.

I made my way into the Cullen's house and noticed Carlisle and Esme in the living room both reading, while Alice and Rosalie were chatting. Jasper was no where to be seen.

"You will never guess what?" Emmett said, breezing pass me and sitting next to Rosalie.

All the Cullen's stopped what they were doing while Edward stood next to me.

"This girl is one of a kind." Emmett said.

Rosalie raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"Not like that baby." He teased, squeezing her nose. "I mean she resisted human blood and then single handily killed a lion."

They all stared back at me and I should have flushed a bright shade of red but my cheeks stayed pale.

"You resisted human blood?" Carlisle asked.

All I could do was nod my head.

"Yeah she did before, while Edward and I were catching up. Boy, she is fast as well. And strong, should have seen how she killed that lion. Phew. And she ran from the human before. Then running back home she did it again. I thought she was gonna kill him but she managed to stop herself and run back here." Emmett said, without taking a breathe.

Not that he needed to. It seemed I didn't need to breathe except when trying to smell.

Carlisle looked at me in awe.

"I couldn't find the strength to kill him." I finally whispered.

"No that's a good thing, Hermione." Carlisle said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up into his topaz eyes.

"An amazing thing actually. I am not a betting man but I would put a bet on you being the first one day old newborn vampire resisting a human." He smiled.

I smiled back at him.

"And… Edward can't read her mind." Emmett said.

Carlisle's hand slipped off my shoulder and he looked at Edward who was still standing next to me.

"It's true. Every time I try and read her mind, I just hear nothing." Edward said.

"Amazing." Carlisle whispered.  
"Looks like we got a special one here." Esme said.

I smiled at them all, suddenly feeling welcome into their family.

Apart from one.

I looked down at the floor.

"I need to speak to Jasper." I said.

I needed answers.

"He is upstairs. Fourth door on the left." Alice told me.

I should have ran up the stairs at the speed of light but somehow I didn't want to rush into this.

I climbed up the stairs and stopped outside the fourth door on the left.

And then I slowly knocked on the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, it's great to hear good things about the story. **

**Here is the next chapter, hope you like.**

I slowly opened the door to Jasper's room.

As I saw him sitting on the end of a couch in his room, staring out the window into nothing, I realized this was the first time ever I didn't know what to say to him.

Sitting down next to him on the couch, I decided to let him make the next move.

I saw Jasper look down at the floor before he looked straight into my new vampire red eyes.

"I am so sorry." He whispered.

I raised an eyebrow at him. I wanted more than an apology.

Pulling my eyes away from his, I ignored his sorry.

"Hermione, I owe you an explanation. Just promise me you won't get mad." He said, taking my hand.

"I can't promise you something I won't keep." I answered him.

He smiled slightly and nodded.

"I understand that. Hermione, I never meant to break your heart but things happened beyond my control. And I am going to start right from the beginning."

Jasper looked back into my eyes again and if it was possible for me to cry, I am pretty sure tears would have been flooding down my face.

"A month before I left, I got diagnosed with a brain aneurism. I didn't know how to tell you but I had felt weak for a while. One day I passed out for no reason and rushed to hospital where they told me about the aneurism. They told me it was inoperable and couldn't give me a… lets call it a deadline for how long I would live. Aneurisms can rupture and this can cause severe complications or death."

"I couldn't live my life to the full knowing that I could just drop dead at any given moment. I tried to put on a face for you and my family but it was hard. Carlisle was a doctor at the hospital and after a lot of digging and snooping I discovered what he was. I begged him to turn me, to give me this immortality. It took me a while, a good two weeks, to convince Carlisle that even though it could be years before I could die, I still had a death sentence over my head."

"He agreed and that's when I came to see you. I didn't know how to tell you I was about to become a vampire and that I had a life threatening condition. I didn't think you would even believe me. I also knew you would think I didn't trust you because I hadn't told you about my condition and to be honest I didn't want to ruin your life for you."

"Now I wish I had told you because maybe we wouldn't be sitting here right now with you also in the same position as me. I fooled myself into thinking you would be OK. And I apologize for being so stupid. I want you to know being a vampire has been a tough ride for me and I still don't know how resistant I am to human blood six months later. Even you are doing better than me." Jasper smiled as he said the last sentence.

I slowly let go of his hand. I still felt unfulfilled by his explanation.

"How did you find out about me?" I asked him.

"Alice saw a vision of your parents being told you had days to live. When she told me I blamed myself straight away…" He started.

"It wasn't just your fault. I changed into a completely different person when you left. I wasn't the same person and I don't think I ever will be. I am not saying you weren't partly to blame. But it was probably 90/10. You did break my heart but I didn't handle it in the right way." I interrupted.

"No I am to blame. I left you no explanation, no reason. I would have handled it the same way." He said, touching my hand again.

"Once Alice told me I knew I needed to do something. I couldn't ask Carlisle to do it because I had already asked too much of him so I asked Edward. He really wasn't happy at first and told me I was being stupid. I think when he seen how much I cared for you, he changed his mind. I owe Edward a lot for this." Jasper continued.

"Why didn't you come and change me yourself?"

"Because I didn't know if I could have stopped. What if I had killed you? I was already the reason you were on your death bed, I needed to help you. Like I said I am still struggling resisting human blood and I may not have stopped. I knew Edward was capable of stopping enough to change you. He has been a vampire for hundreds of years. I felt like I needed to give you another chance at life." He finished.

I looked at him and was lost for words again.

"You don't forgive me do you?" He said quietly.

"No I forgive you. It all makes much more sense now and I have you, and Edward, to thank for saving my life. As you put it another chance at life. So for that I do forgive you." I told him.

He smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you. That is more than I deserve."

I looked at him and smiled at him.

"I am going to do things properly this time. I am not going to hurt you again. We have forever to make this work." He said.

I shook my hand away from his grip.

"No. I am not ready to do that yet. I have changed in more ways than I ever could have imagined. This is going to take a lot of getting use to. Even you haven't after six months and I am a day old. Edward and Emmett may have been impressed with me in the forest but there is still a long way to go. I need to get my head around all this first before I can go back to what we were." I said.

It literally broke my heart to see Jasper's face as I told him this but deep down it was the right thing to do.

I had just become a vampire and the last thing to do right now would be to jump feet first into a serious relationship.

"I understand." Was all Jasper said.

This time I took his hand and made him stare into my eyes.

"I do forgive you, I promise but let's just be friends for now and see what happens. Like you said, we have forever." I said.

His smile seemed genuine and he nodded.

"OK." He said.

I kissed him on the cheek and left his room, closing the door slowly behind me.

As I leaned back on the door I took a moment to consider what had just happened.

Jasper's face would never leave my mind.

* * *

Esme lead me into the furthest room down the hall way.

"I hope you like it, Jasper told me you were a pink kind of girl." She smiled.

I looked open mouthed around the room. It was beautiful.

The walls were a pale pink and a bright pink lampshade hung from the light. There was a black couch in the corner of the room, a big pink wardrobe, a gorgeous black table which had a pink jewelry box on top.

I looked as Esme and smiled.

"It's fantastic." I said to her.

"Alice wants a list of clothes from you as she is dying to go clothes shopping for you." Esme said.

"I'll get a move on then."

I sat at the table and starting writing a long list of clothes.

After half an hour, I had finished and was bored.

Not being able to sleep meant the day had dragged. Especially with everything that happened today.

I sighed with boredom and got up determined to find something to do.

I knocked on the door of the room next to mine and Edward told me to come in.

"I am bored." I declared to him, slumping down onto his couch.

He smiled at me, that crooked smile he had smiled earlier.

"How did it go with Jasper?" He asked.

I sighed.

"As I expected. I told him I needed time." I said.

Edward just nodded.

"Do you think that was the right thing to do?" I asked him.

Edward looked at me.

"Only you can decide that."

I looked back into his golden eyes and wished that my eyes matched his.

He chucked me a book which landed on the couch next to me. I looked at the cover.

Jane Eyre.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's a classic." He smiled.

I picked it up and looked at the book, almost inspecting it.

I smiled back at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"Suppose I got nothing else to do right now." I said.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the door.

I turned to Edward before I left.

"I want to thank you for not killing me when you changed me." I said.

He smiled that crooked smile again.

"No problem." He whispered.

I left his room and lay back on the black couch in my new room and turned to the first page of Jane Eyre.


	7. Chapter 7

**First of thanks for all your reviews =)**

**Second of all, I dunno if my coven information is correct but seeing as they are basic characters I haven't gone into much detail lol.**

**Anyhoo enjoy-**

I had been at the Cullen's a whole month now and finally my eyes were starting to look more golden than red. In fact I now looked more like a Cullen than ever before.

I was starting to enjoy my time with them and every hunting session I had had been a success. Sometimes if I did come across a human I got that same urge to go and kill him but every single time I had managed to fight it off and gone and caught a mountain lion instead.

Edward still couldn't read my mind which was bugging the hell out of him, much to my amusement. None of them could understand why it was only my mind Edward couldn't read but I made it quite clear I liked the fact he couldn't.

Alice had picked me out a fantastic wardrobe full of clothes, shoes, handbags, and the lot. Everyday I felt like I had just stepped out of a fashion magazine, again making me feel more like a Cullen everyday.

Rosaline had started to warm toward but there was still a bit of an icy attitude there but at least she would actually talk to me now.

Emmett hated the fact that I was still beating him at every arm wrestling match and that I could catch and kill a lion much better than he could.

And Jasper and I were growing closer each day, which started to feel like how it use to be. Yet I still couldn't bring myself to be in a relationship with him. And still I didn't know why.

As I walked down the stairs, after another full night of reading one of Edward's books, I found all the Cullen's sitting round a massive table clearly discussing something important.

I stood behind Emmett and looked at them all.

"Everything OK?" I asked.

"Yes everything's fine. We are thinking of organizing a party for Carlisle's 350th birthday." Esme told me.

I mouthed oh. Wow 350 years on the earth.

"At the moment we are just looking at what vampires to invite." Carlisle informed me.

I sat in the chair next to Emmett and looked at Carlisle.

"Are there vampires all over the world?" I asked him.

Carlisle nodded.

"And very few of them are vegetarians like us so we have to be careful who we invite as some can not be trusted." He told me.

I nodded and listened as they talked about vampires all over the world. From as far as Africa!

"OK so we are going to invite the Amazonian coven, the Denali coven, Irish coven and the European coven. I think that should be enough." Esme said, after a long discussion.

"What about the Volturi?" Edward asked.

The table suddenly went quiet and I looked at everyone in confusion.

Carlisle sighed a serious sigh.

"They are going to find about it and Hermione." He said, his face looking serious.

"Who are the Volturi?" I asked.

"The Volturi live in Italy and have been vampires for thousands of years. They enforce the vampire laws…" Carlisle started.

"Vampires have laws?" I asked, half laughing.

Carlisle smiled slightly.

"They stop us revealing what we are to humans and other laws. They feed on human blood and will try to get any vampire with a special talent to join their… coven." He said.

I looked at him confused.

"And why would they want to know about me?" I asked.

"You never know with the Volturi." Was all he said.

* * *

Alice and Jasper were being sent to the Amazon to ask their coven to the party, and Emmett and Rosalie were being sent to Deli to try and invite that coven.

Carlisle and Edward were going to invite the Irish coven and the European coven.

Esme and I were left behind to decorate the place.

Alice was a bit upset that she hadn't been asked to decorate the place but Carlisle felt it best that I stay behind as I was still only a month old.

Two days after they left Esme started hanging up some balloons while I blew them up with the helium tank.

"How are you and Jasper coming along?" She asked me.

I knew she had been dying to ask me the whole two days everyone had been gone.

I sighed as I handed her a balloon.

"The same as usual I suppose. It kind of feels like what it use to be when we weren't… like this." I said.

Esme look at me sympathetically.

"And no sign of the two of you making a go of it?" She asked, raising one of her eyebrows slightly.

I shook my head.

"I am still not ready." I said.

"Why Hermione? What's holding you back? Are you scared he is going to hurt you again?" She asked.

"No it's not that. I don't feel like the same person that I was. I know I am not the same person, I am a vampire for crying out loud. But I feel like… what if we can't have what we had before? Because of what we now are." I said.

I didn't know if what I had just told Esme was the truth but for some reason it made sense.

Maybe there was another reason holding me back from a relationship with Jasper.

The front door opened and in walked Emmett and Rosalie with four people following behind them.

A short blonde headed girl walked towards Esme and gave her a quick hug before turning to me.

"This must be Hermione." She said.

I nodded slightly as she pulled me into a hug.

She then took my hand and led me towards the other three people.

"This is my family. My sister Kate and our friends Eleazar and Carmen." She told me. "And I am Tanya."

I shook all their hands and took their vampire beauty in.

Eleazar looked at me intently and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at his stare.

"You have… something special about you yet I cannot pinpoint what." He said, slowly.

I just looked at him, unsure what to say.

"Eleazar had the ability to vaguely identify what talent each vampire has." Tanya smiled.

Whatever his talent was, he could have at least stopped staring at me!

There was a knock at the door, which finally averted Eleazar's gaze from me, and Alice and Jasper entered with three more strangers.

Jasper automatically came to my side and put an arm round my waist.

"This is Hermione, the girl I was telling you about." Jasper said.

I looked up at him, he was smiling from ear to ear. I then looked at the vampires.

One walked towards me and shook my hand.

"I am Zafrina." She told me, her dreadlocks reaching down past her waist.

"This is Senna and Kachiri." She said, motioning towards the other two dark skinned vampires.

Something about Zafrina made me like her instantly. She seemed friendly despite being one of the human killing vampires.

And finally Edward and Carlisle entered with more vampires.

I shifted myself out of Jasper's arm and looked at the others who had entered.

"This is Hermione, the newest addition to our family." Carlisle said.

I was introduced to Siobhan, Liam and Maggie from the Irish coven and Alistair, Charles and Makenna from the European coven.

"Right now you are all here, you can help with decorations." Carlisle smiled, rubbing his hands together.

Everyone laughed and followed him into the living room.

Jasper put his arm round my waist once again.

* * *

The decorations didn't take long to do with everyone helping.

Jasper never left my side as I spoke to Zafrina most of the time.

Eleazar still kept staring at me but decided to ignore him.

I watched as Tanya flirted outrageously with Edward, sometime staring at them for long periods of time before Zafrina snapped me out of my thoughts.

Finally the room was finished and it looked amazing.

Like something out of the movies.

Just by looking at the room I could see this was going to be one hell of a party.

"Let's get ready to party then!" Carlisle exclaimed.

The room filled with a loud cheer.


	8. Chapter 8

**I had a bit of inspiration so I wrote another chapter pretty quickly lol. **

**I just want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who is following the story, the more people I see are following just makes me want to write more and more!  
Also thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they all make me smile so much, and it's great to see everyone is enjoying me story that just randomly popped into my head. I want say a big thanks to Yellow-Phoenix25, your review really made me smile so much =D**

**Yeah so disclaimer, I don't owe anything blah blah haha and just enjoy-**

* * *

Alice finished curling my hair and wandered over to my wardrobe, skimming past loads of dresses.

As she continued her search, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I didn't feel like Hermione Granger anymore. I felt like Hermione… Cullen.

I looked like a vampire. I mean I was no where near the beauty of the Cullens but I looked more stunning than I had ever done before.

I had always been the plain Jane with my bushy hair and button nose. But now I have perfect pale skin, my eyes shined a beautiful gold shade and my lips were a perfect shade of red. For the first time in my life, I loved what I saw in the mirror.

Alice handed me a gorgeous floor length dress and demanded that I try it on.

Slipping the fabric onto my skin, I felt even more beautiful.

I showed Alice and she started jumping around, grabbing my hands and making me bounce up and down with her.

"I knew it was going to look great." She exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes jokingly at her. She also had a floor length gown on and she completely over shadowed me with her beauty. I dreaded seeing how great Rosalie looked.

There was a knock at my bedroom door and Alice told whoever it was to come in.

"Wow Hermione. You look fantastic." Jasper smiled.

I looked at the floor and smiled. If I had been human, I know I would have gone red.

"Anyway, everyone is waiting for you two." He said.

Alice skipped out of the door and Jasper held out his hand for me to hold.

I slipped my hand into his and took a deep unneeded breathe.

Forcing a smile at him, we made our way downstairs.

Every vampire looked a-maz-ing! Especially Zafrina.

Her black dress was also floor length and it hugged every curve of her figure perfectly.

I took my hand out of Jasper's and headed straight towards her.

"You look great." I smiled at her.

"As do you." She said.

My non-existent blush happened again.

* * *

It wasn't a normal party. Not that I expected a vampire party to be like an ordinary party but still…

Carlisle, Eleazar, Carmen and Kachiri had been involved in a history conversation for hours.

Esme, Rosalie, Kate and Siobhan were talking about fashion, Tanya and Edward were in the corner locked into a conversation, and Emmett and the whole of the European coven were talking about fighting styles while Senna, Alice, Liam and Maggie were playing an interesting game of Pictionary.

Jasper had refused to leave my side all night and it was starting to get on my nerves.

Zafrina came over to me and looked at me intently.

"It really frustrates Edward that he can't read your mind." She said to me.

I looked at her. I nodded and whispered good.

"He told me that he wishes he could so he could get to know you a bit better." She carried on.

"All he has to do is talk to me." I said, watching Edward with Tanya.

She nodded.

"You are an interesting vampire, Hermione. I mean most newborns are but there is something about you." She said.

I looked at her, a confused look on my face.

"I don't see how I am interesting at all with all of these vampires in the room." I said, scoffing as I did so.

"Eleazar can't seem to find out what your talent is."

"Maybe that's because there isn't one."

"No there is one. Without a doubt, but it's finding it." She smiled at me.

I smiled back.

Jasper slipped an arm round my back and squeezed me towards him.

Why was he frustrating me so much? I had loved him doing this back when we were together but for some reason it was now annoying me.

I slipped out of his grip.

"I am going to mingle." I announced to Jasper and Zafrina.

Jasper face fell but I ignored it.

I made a beeline for Tanya and Edward.

Edward looked at me as I walked towards them

"If you want to get to know me just ask me rather than trying to invade my mind." I told him firmly.

He smiled his crooked smile and Tanya looked at me with her eyebrow raised.

"That is a very good point." He smiled. "Tanya can you give us a moment?"

Tanya looked at him and forced an unrealistic smile.

I looked into Edward's eyes and swallowed hard, though I didn't need to.

"It would be a whole lot easier if I could read your mind." He said.

"You'd find out things you didn't want to." I teased.

His crooked smile came onto his face again and it made me smile.

"Like?" He asked.

"Now that would be telling." I said, half laughing.

Suddenly the front door of the Cullen's door opened and in walked three vampires I didn't recognize.

All of them were wearing long black robes and they glided across the floor towards Carlisle, who had stood up.

Jasper raced to me and Edward.

"Carlisle, should I be offended that we didn't get invited to such a special occasion?" The one with long black hair said.

All of the three men had deep red blood eyes, the same as mine had been a month ago.

Carlisle smiled at them.

"Your invitation must have got lost in the post." He replied.

The vampire with long black hair laughed a roaring laugh but it was not the same as Emmett's harmless laugh.

I started to feel scared for the first time in a month.

A small young blonde girl entered behind them and smiled at Carlisle.

"Well we are here now, let the party begin." She exclaimed.

No-one seemed to move as the young girl looked around the room.

Suddenly her red eyes stopped on me.

I took in a sharp intake of breathe. She looked no older than 14 but she looked… evil.

"And this must be Hermione." She said, cocking her head to one side.

I looked deep into her eyes.

"Yes, Hermione is an old friend of Jasper's. Edward turned her after we found out she was dying of anorexia." Carlisle informed them.

The young girl advanced towards me and Jasper jumped in front of me.

She smiled at Jasper and looked at him.

All of a sudden, Jasper fell to the floor at my feet and grabbed his head, screaming in pain. I looked at him in shocked as Edward grabbed my arms.

Jasper stopped as soon as he started.

"Don't get in my way." The girl said.

"Please Jane, leave her be." Jasper whispered.

I took my gaze away from Jasper to look at Jane.

Her smile made me mad.

"What power does she have?" Jane asked.

"I don't have one." I shouted at her.

Jane looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

One of the vampires was staring at me and Edward and it made me feel more uncomfortable than Eleazar had done earlier.

"How come Edward turned you and not Jasper?" He said to me.

"Because Jasper may have killed her." Edward answered, still with a grip on my arms.

The vampire looked at me and Edward again.

"I think it would interesting if Aro read Hermione's mind." He said.

The dark haired vampire brushed past Jane and Jasper and looked me deep in the eyes.

I could see his concrete skin with how close he was to my face.

"It may be impossible. Even Edward can't read her mind." I heard Zafrina say.

Aro looked at Zafrina and then at Edward.

"Young Edward here can read minds?" Aro asked.

Edward nodded.

"Then would you mind if I read your mind first?" Aro asked Edward.

One of Edward's hands let go of my arm and he placed his hand in Aro's out stretched hand.

Aro closed his eyes and held Edward's hand tightly for a good 30 seconds.

"Interesting." He said, looking Edward and then looking at me.

Edward took grip of my arm again.

"This girl is special indeed." Aro said, looking at me.

His look disgusted me.

"May I?" He asked me, his hand out stretched again.

I pulled an arm out of Edward's grip. I stalled putting my hand into Aro's.

"How much can you read?" I asked him.

"I can read every thought you have ever had with one touch, my darling." He said, smiling.

I shuddered at him calling me darling before slapping my hand into his.

Aro closed his eyes before slowly opening them and looking at me in shock.

"It's… blank. I can't read a thing." He said the shock clear in his voice.

I smiled quite smugly and allowed Edward to grip me once again.

The other male vampires were staring at me and Edward and I failed to notice Jasper had gotten from off the floor.

"Right if you are finished, we are in the middle of a party here." Carlisle said.

"No wait." Aro said, putting a hand up to Carlisle. "I just need to see."

He motioned for Jane to come forward.

Jasper jumped in front of me again.

"No!" He exclaimed.

Aro pushed him out of the way and Carlisle took a hold of Jasper, giving him what can only be described as a fatherly look.

Jane looked at me and smiled her disgusting smile.

She carried on staring at me until her smug look turned into frustration before finally turning into shock.

I just looked at her confused.

Jane stamped her foot and walked back beside the other two vampires.

"Oh yes Hermione, you definitely are interesting." Aro said. "And you and Jasper are close, I assume?"

He turned to the vampire who has asked about Edward turning me.

The vampire looked back at me and Edward.

"Maybe." Was all he said.

I looked at the vampire, my eyebrows creased together.

"Marcus here senses relationship between vampires." Aro informed me.

I just nodded.

"Like Carlisle said we are in the middle of a party." I said, trying to sound strong.

Aro smiled at me.

"You are correct." He simply said.

Edward slowly let his grip go and I removed my arms from it.

I looked at Jasper and smiled at him but he didn't smile back.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I think it best if you leave." Carlisle said to Jane, Aro, Marcus and the other vampire.

Aro nodded.

"It's been an interesting visit. Thank you and happy birthday."

They all made a quick and hasty exit and suddenly no-one was in the party mood.


	9. Chapter 9

For a good 15 minutes nobody said a word. Jasper had gone to the opposite side of the room and everyone seemed to avoid my gaze.

Unable to stand it anymore, I left the room.

Walking out the back door of the house, I felt like running as fast as I could to feel the wind in my hair but it's as though my feet refused to meet the speed.

Instead I walked slowly to the edge of the forest at the back of the Cullen's house.

Plonking myself down onto the floor, I forgot about the fact I was wearing a posh floor length gown and just immersed myself in thought.

The Volturi frightened me; there was no other way to put it.

The way little Jane had caused Jasper so much pain he fell to his feet. The way Aro had the ability to read EVERY thought Edward had ever had. How Marcus had seen something between me and Edward.

And yet Aro could not read MY mind, Jane could not cause ME pain. And yet I still didn't know.

I had no clue, no inkling, to how I had this ability to block people from getting into my mind.

Maybe that was my special power. That I could protect my mind from invaders.

I shrugged my shoulders and held my head in my hands.

I heard footsteps and looked up to see Edward walking towards me.

Suddenly I felt awkward as he sat next to me.

"You OK?" He asked.

I just nodded. "I think so." I whispered.

He also nodded.

"The Volturi won't hurt you; they are just interested in you." He told me.

"But why?" I asked him.

"Because even though you don't believe it Hermione you are a special vampire." He said, looking deep into my eyes.

I laughed a little.

"And the more I hear it, the less I believe it." I said.

He smiled his crooked smile and it made me smile more.

"I got a little satisfaction knowing Aro also couldn't read your mind." He said.

I looked at him.

"I don't even think Aro was frustrated as you." I laughed.

Edward laughed as well and made a face at me.

"OK I am thinking of colour, guess it."

"Hermione, stop it."

"I am thinking of a number guess it."

"Seriously…"

"I am thinking of an animal, bet you can't guess it."

"Oh shut up."

He playfully punched me on the arm.

"I am thinking of a piece of food, have a guess." I said, getting up.

Edward followed me and laughed.

"This is real torment." He smiled.

He tried to grab me and missed so I ran back down towards the Cullen's.

"I am thinking of a TV Show… well…" I shouted back at him.

I heard him laughing and as we got to the Cullen's back door, he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

I hadn't breathed in ages.

"I am thinking of someone, who do you think it is?" I asked him, staring straight into his eyes.

I saw him take a big gulp and all of a sudden the back door opened. Zafrina stood looking at me and Edward.

Edward dropped my arm out of his grip and nodded at Zafrina before going past her.

I also walked past her and looked back into the living room when a conversation was slightly buzzing again.

I looked around the room and I couldn't see Jasper so I made my way upstairs to find him.

I knocked on his door and slowly opened it. I saw him standing and staring out the window.

"You OK?" I asked him.

He didn't look at me.

"I'll take that as a no." I muttered, knowing Jasper would hear it.

I sat down on the couch in his room and just stared at the back of him as he looked out the window.

"Please talk to me Jasper." I pleaded.

He finally turned around and faced me. His face was blank.

"I am sorry about the Volturi." He said, quietly.

I just shook my head and whispered it's OK.

He turned back to the window.

I got up from the couch and stood next to him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"It was cute how you came to protect me." I told him.

He scoffed.

"Edward protected you much more than I did." He said.

"No, Edward didn't take Jane's power so I say you did more protecting." I smiled.

I saw Jasper try to stifle a smile.

Jasper turned to me.

"I'll do everything to make sure the Volturi never hurt you." He said.

He pulled me into a hug and I smiled as he did so.

I was upset that everyone had to leave especially Zafrina but she had told me I was welcome to visit them whenever I wanted.

I knew I would take them up on that offer.

Finally every guest had left and for some strange reason the house felt empty.

I sat staring at the ceiling in my room. I thought my boredom could be cured by counting the tiles on the ceiling but I got to 15 and gave up.

Sighing I decided to try another count.

I got to 10 before I heard a knock on the door. Thankful for the company I instantly told them to come in.

It was Esme.

She sat on the end of the couch by my feet.

"I just wanted to check you were OK. I know the party was a few days ago but I just wanted to make sure." She said softly.

"The Volturi don't scare me." I told her firmly.

Even though they did, I didn't want the Cullen's thinking I was weak.

She nodded and smiled.

"And what about everything else? Nothing else bothering you?" She asked me.

I sighed. There was something bothering me.

"I… miss my Mom and Dad." I told her.

She looked at me sympathetically and sighed herself.

"I know its hard being away from your family but soon when those human urges are completely gone you'll be safe enough to see them." She told me.

In fact she told me the exact same thing Jasper had done when I ask him just 2 weeks after being turned into a vampire.

But I told myself if I could stop myself killing a complete stranger, I would have no problem around my parents.

I wanted them to know I was OK and I suppose… happy.

One minute I was dying and the next I had just disappeared from the hospital bed. I couldn't begin to imagine what was going through their heads right now.

I turned to look at Esme in the eyes. She still had that sympathetic look on her face.

I sighed again.

"I won't go looking for them on my own but I am worried about them." I said.

"I understand that but I think you should leave it a bit longer. I know you are strong against human blood but we must be careful." She said her voice still soft.

I just nodded.

"What about you and Jasper? Given anymore thought to that?" She asked.

I continued to look into her eyes.

"A little." I told her.

This was an honest answer.

"And?" She pushed.

"I am still feeling the same way." I answered.

She nodded silently.

I watched as she smiled at me before leaving the room.

Why did everyone push me for answers in everything? Was it because Edward couldn't get in my mind and tell them for me? I had not seen Esme feel the need to ask Rosalie or Alice all these questions. Why me?

I lay back down on the couch and started counting the tiles yet again.

I got to three before jumping off the bed and making my way to Jasper's room.

"Hey." He greeted me, kissing me on the cheek also.

"I need to ask you a favour." I said to him.

He smiled and nodded.

"I want to go and talk to my Mom and Dad." I said.

Jasper looked at me and then to the floor.

"Hermione, it's not safe." He said.

"That's what you said last time, and what Esme just said, but I know I am ready. They are my parents; I know I won't kill them." I pleaded.

Jasper just looked at me.

"Regardless you are a month old vampire, you have urges. It's not safe." He repeated.

I sighed an angry sigh and stormed out the room.

Stuff him, I could find them without his help.

I walked into the living room where Rosalie and Emmett were sitting and tried to look as innocent as possible.

Walking into the Cullen's garage, I looked at each individual car.

Boy, they had some nice cars.

I stared at each one for a while before settling on the red BMW.

Grabbing the keys off the key hook, I opened the car and got in.

But just before I started the engine, a hand slammed against the window.

I jumped and turned to see Alice staring at me.

I looked at her angry.

She opened the door and smiled at me smugly.

"I don't think this is such a good idea." She said, calmly.

"I'll be fine." I said through gritted teeth.

"Mmm I see that you won't." She said again.

I hated it when she did that.

"How do you know I won't change my mind when I get there?" I said.

"You are a newborn vampire even someone who doesn't see into the future could predict what will happen."

"They are my parents, please Alice." I looked at her and pleaded with my eyes.

"If you drive out of this garage I will tell Jasper where you have gone." She said, ignoring my eyes.

"Fine." I said, slamming the door shut and revving the car out of the garage.


	10. Chapter 10

**I know the two chapters I have uploaded are short, so I apologise in advance. I aslo realise they don't really move the love story along very much. I just kind of had this realisation that in a month Hermione had given no thought to her parents so I thought whoops! Haha!**

**Anyway I have started to get some great ideas for this story, I even know how it is gonna end (sort of!) so I kind of have the last 5 or 6 chapters written but don't feel the bulk of the story is quite finished. Hermione has only been with the Cullen's a month so I feel there is still more to happen if you catch my drift!! Gosh I do waffle on don't I? I should probably stop but I feel like I needed to explain myself haha.**

**Anyhoo thanks to all who reviewed, big love to all of you who have so far =D**

**And all that disclaimer stuff- I don't own anything... sadly!!**

* * *

I had a rough idea where I was going when I got to the end of the forest where the Cullen's lived.

I predicted Jasper wouldn't be far behind me so I put my foot down.

After about 20 minutes I couldn't believe it when I recognised where I was.

I was in a small town centre near to where I used to live. It was 1:00am so it was quiet but I still remembered it.

I knew now exactly where I was heading. I had no idea the Cullen's lived only a 10 mile drive from my home.

I carried on driving, trying to find a decent radio station when I turned onto my old street.

Emotion over flooded me as I saw Mom's car parked at the end of the street that I nearly hit the Volvo that had just appeared in front of me.

I slammed the brakes on as I heard the tyres of the Volvo screech to halt.

As I jolted back to my seat, I stared out the car window to see Jasper and Edward in the car staring back at me.

Fury overtook my body and I revved the engine to the car once again but Edward just switched the engine of his Volvo off.

Giving up, I did the same and stormed out of the car.

I raced passed the Volvo at my vampire speed and came to a stop outside my parent's door.

All of a sudden another emotion swept over me.

Hunger.

The blood I could smell smelt so good that I had a great urge to break my parent's door down.

I wanted it so much that I ran to the front door and took in another deep breathe. It was better than any mountain lion would ever smell.

But just before I knocked the door, I fell to me feet.

I had just had an urge to kill my own parents. How could I have thought like some kind of monster?

I could have killed them so easily with no second thought. I looked up at the door and wished I could cry.

"Hermione please come away from the door." I heard Jasper say.

I slowly got up to my feet and walked away from the door.

As I reached Jasper and Edward I fell into Jasper's arms.

"I wanted to kill them." I whispered.

"This is what we warned you about." He said.

I tried so hard to cry, I felt like I needed to cry to get all the emotions out of me.

"But I want to tell them I am alive." I said.

"It can wait." Jasper said.

"I can tell them if you want." Edward said.

I lifted my head out of Jasper's arm to look at Edward.

"Really?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"I can be around humans and as long as Jasper stays at the end of the drive with you so you don't jump at them but are in their eyesight maybe we can convince them." Edward said.

I hugged him as tight as I could.

"Yes, yes please!" I said, letting him go.

Jasper put his arms tightly around me as Edward made his way to the front door.

I heard him knock the door and after about 30 seconds, my Mom answered the door.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen." I heard Edward tell her, it was though he was standing next to me.

My Mom nodded absent mindly.

"I am here to tell you Hermione is OK. She is alive…in a way." He said.

My Mom looked at him and I saw him motion to wear me and Jasper stood.

My Mom gasped and started to cry. She tried to run out the door but Edward put his arm to stop her.

"She is not safe for you to be around right now." Edward said.

I saw my Mom look deep into Edward's eyes.

"You're not human are you?" She asked him.

He shook his head.

"And neither is Hermione." He told her.

She looked at me and waved.

I waved back.

I saw my Dad come down the stairs and stand next to my Mom.

Neither of them had changed much though they looked quite stressed and tired.

"It's her." I heard my Mom tell him.

My Dad looked at Edward before looking at me.

He smiled his big smile and tried to go pass Edward but my Mom stopped him.

"Not yet." Was all she said.

My Dad still smiled at me and I smiled back.

I was so happy that they had seen me. Edward nodded at them politely before heading back to me and Jasper.

"I love you." My Mom said.

"Love you too." I said.

Jasper led me away and again I wished I could have cried.

"You take Hermione in the BMW and I'll follow you." Edward instructed Jasper.

Jasper had to sit me into the passenger seat. It was as though my body had gone numb.

A million and one emotions ran through my body.

Happiness, sadness, anger and relief.

I don't remember much of the journey back to the Cullen's just that they were all waiting for us as we walked through the door.

Esme gave me a hug and Alice walked over to me sheepishly.

"Sorry." She said.

"I am glad you told them." I smiled, giving her a hug.

I looked at all of the Cullen's smiling back at me, even Rosalie, and all of the other emotions were knocked out of my body. I just felt happiness.

I was back home.


	11. Chapter 11

**I know, I know it has been weeks since I have updated and you should all slap me for it. But I have been MAJOR busy, in fact busy is an understatement! But I am back and ready with more chapters. So I apologize for the delay and hope you all don't hate me.**

**Here is the next one-**

* * *

Another month had passed and I was still stuck inside the Cullen's house staring at the same four walls for hours on end.

I literally knew every nook and cranny in the walls.

I was starting go insane.

An idea popper into my head and I went inside Alice's room where she was sitting on her window ledge watching the world go by.

"Erm… Alice?" I asked carefully.

She just turned to look at me. I had a feeling she knew what I was about to ask.

"I _really _need to get out the house because its making me go mad. Can we maybe go on a little shopping trip?" I shut my eyes as I asked expecting Alice to just go mad at me.

"I don't think that's a good idea Hermione." Alice said quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Oh please Alice. You can see the future, surely you can see that everything will be fine." I pleaded.

Alice sighed.

"My visions are based on decisions Hermione. If you make a split second decision to go on some massacre, I won't see it coming." She said.

I could see the sympathy in her eyes.

"But I won't. I have been a vampire for 2 months now and I haven't killed a single human. Not one." I argued.

"It will be different from hunting. You'll be surrounded by millions of humans and you may not be able to control yourself." Alice said.

"Right I am either going with you or without you! You make the decision!" I said, starting to get angry.

Alice sighed again.

"Oh sometimes you are such a stubborn little madam. Fine but we can't tell a soul and we need to make sure Edward doesn't find out. He may not be able to read your mind but he can still read mine." Alice said, grabbing my arm.

She pulled me out of her room and we snuck down to the garage. I smiled to myself smugly.

I wasn't really a big shopper but at least it got me out of the house.

* * *

As me and Alice entered the shopping mall the smell of human blood nearly knocked me of my feet.

I tried to remain calm so Alice couldn't see but inside the nerves were beginning to churn round my body.

I held my breath and tried to block out the mouth watering smell.

"And how are you feeling?" Alice said, looking at me.

I swear sometimes she could read my mind.

"I am fine." I choked out.

"You don't look fine."

"Well I am!"

A young boy brushed passed me and his smell consumed my body.

I needed to have him.

Before I could lunge at him, Alice grabbed me and pulled me out of the mall by one arm.

Near enough throwing me into the car, I finally stopped holding my breath and wished I could have cried.

"See I knew that would happen." She didn't say it angrily but I knew she was mad at me.

I didn't need vampire mind reading skills to know what Alice was thinking right now.

"I am sorry, Alice. I couldn't believe I was so stupid." I said.

She just looked at me and smiled a little.

"Come on, let's go somewhere just you and us." She said.

Alice drove us to a park not far away from the Cullen's.

It was completely deserted. Perfect.

I sat on a picnic bench and looked up at the clouds.

"You may be strong Hermione, but you over estimate how strong." Alice said, sitting opposite me.

"I know. I don't look before I leap. My Mum use to always say that to me." I sighed.

"You miss your parents?"

"I think about them everyday but at least they know I am OK."

"But you do like living with us?"

Alice looked at me with her big eyes and I smiled to myself.

"I love it." I replied.

Alice smiled and nodded.

"Do you not think about getting back together with Jasper?" She asked me.

Why did everyone want to know the answer to this question?

I sighed and looked back up at the clouds.

"He did save your life." Alice said, realizing I was pissed at her.

"No. Edward saved my life." I reminded her.

I heard Alice laugh slightly.

"Only by Jaspers orders." She said quietly.

I looked at her and she was looking into her hands.

"I know that it's just… Jasper didn't exactly do the deed himself did he?" I said.

"Did you and Jasper have a good relationship?" She asked, still looking at her hands.

"Yes." I said quietly.

"And you don't miss that?"

"Things have changed."

"I get that but deep down they are still the same."

"Do you see me and Jasper together in the future?" I asked her.

She finally looked up at me and smiled.

"No. Jasper has already asked me this and I didn't tell him the full story." She said.

"And what is the full story?" I asked eagerly.

"If I didn't tell Jasper, I am not going to tell you. Anyway it could still change; you could still make a different decision."

"So…do I have to make a decision?" I asked, getting a little confused.

"Kind of."

Alice wasn't going to give the information I wanted away so easily. But she had seen my future and it didn't involve me being with Jasper. Did this mean something?

"Do I end up with someone else?" I asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders and whispered maybe.

I smiled a little. I was fighting a losing battle here.

"OK no more questions." I said, laughing a little.

Alice laughed with me.

"You do trust me though don't you?" She asked.

I nodded and squeezed her hand.

* * *

Back at the Cullen's, Emmett and Jasper were playing some game on the Xbox while Rosaline and Esme were reading.

Carlisle was at work and I assumed Edward was in his room.

"And where have you two been?" Esme said, coming across very motherly.

"No where dangerous." Alice replied, wedging herself between Jasper and Emmett.

I smiled at Esme and made my way upstairs.

Maybe my room was such a boring place after all. At least there were no humans to try and eat in there.

I walked past Edward's room and heard soft music. Curiosity got the better of me and I pushed his door open slightly.

I saw Edward sitting at a piano. He looked so intense and involved in what he was playing, which sounded beautiful.

He stopped to soon though and I was disappointed.

I walked into his room.

"You play really well." I said.

He looked up and smiled at me.

"Well I have had a few years to practice." He said.

I sat next to him on the piano seat.

"Play something else." I asked him.

He started again playing a piece of music I had never heard before but it was just as beautiful as the last song.

I watched his fingers as they pressed the keys and was mesmerized by how he played.

He stopped again and looked at me.

I looked back up at him.

"wow." Was all I could say.

He smiled his crooked smile.

I had to pull my eyes away from his beauty and looked back down at the piano keys.

"I wish I could play." I said randomly pressing a key.

"I'll teach you." He said, taking my hand and putting his on top of mine.

I held my breath and he led my fingers to play a few keys.

I looked at him as he made my fingers play more keys and smiled.

"What?" He said, looking at me. He had stopped playing and just held my hand.

"Nothing." I whispered.

"I am teaching you to play piano." He smiled.

I nodded and smiled even bigger.

"Yes I see that." I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me which made me giggled.

"I hate not being able to read your mind." He said.

"I love it." I replied.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He said, twisting his fingers around mine.

"I can't." I whispered, both of us staring at one another.

"Please." He said, his topaz eyes glistering.

I shook my head.

"You'll laugh at me." I said, quite glad of the fact I couldn't go red.

"I promise I won't laugh." He said.

I leant towards him and placed my lips on to his.

I waited for his next move and held my breath.

He kissed me and I kissed back. He pulled the hand he was holding closer to his chest and slipped his free hand into my hair.

I put my free hand onto his leg as the kissing turned more passionate.

I slipped closer to him and kissed him more.

Suddenly he let go my hand and pulled away.

I looked at him and he looked…anguished.

"I'm sorry Hermione." He said, getting off the seat and leaving the room.

I stared at the door of where he had just left. For the first time in two months, my mouth felt dry.


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's another one.... enjoy =)**

**Thanks for all the reviews as well, they all make me smile.**

* * *

I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't shake the image of me and Edward out of my head.

I sat up sharply. If I had been human, I would have definitely have gotten a head rush.

But this was all wrong wasn't it? It was Jasper I was suppose to be feeling this way about not Edward.

I couldn't deny there was something between me and Edward. Something he did make me forget about everyone else around me, including Jasper.

Jasper had saved my life though.

Even though Edward was the one who turned me, Jasper had sent him to do it. Jasper had loved me that much he didn't want to see me die.

But he left me! No warning, no explanation, just gone!

And the next time I see him, I am some immortal vampire who has to hunt deer blood!

Is that what a relationship should be based on? Hell no.

Ahhh I should stop arguing with myself. In fact I should stop looking for a reason that makes me and Edward right.

That people would actually sit back and allow us to just be in a relationship in front of Jasper.

I belonged with Jasper. No matter what excuse I looked for, I had to be with him.

So that's what I'll do. No more messing about.

Being with Jasper will take my mind of Edward.

Yes.

I got up off the bed and made my way into Jasper's room.

Seeing him brought the guilt back to me. I didn't love him anymore and I knew it just by looking at him.

But it was the right thing to do.

"Are you OK?" He asked me, slowly getting up.

Right now I was glad vampires couldn't cry.

"Yeah." I whispered. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking."

He looked confused so I carried on.

"I didn't think I was ready for us to go back to what we was… but the truth is I was scared. I am ready, if you are." I said.

He beamed from ear to ear and the guilt hit me once again.

"Do you mean that Hermione?" He smiled.

I nodded.

He came over to me and gave me a hug.

"I love you." He said, kissing me.

I kissed him back.

"I love you too." I said, the guilt making me hurt.

He kissed me again.

* * *

Jasper twirled my fingers through his and smiled at me.

I forced a smile back.

"What changed your mind?" He asked me.

"You did." I lied. What a cheesy line as well.

But he still smiled.

"I feel like hunting, do you?" He said.

I shook my head.

"No thanks but you go on." I said.

He kissed me on the forehead and whispered bye.

I sighed as he left.

What the hell was I doing? Was this actually the right thing to do?

I convinced myself that I could fall back in love with Jasper but could I?

The Cullens had done so much for me and I could be ripping it all apart and for what?

A boy.

I heard the front door shut and it sounded as though some of the others had gone with Jasper.

I ran to my room at my vampire speed to see Jasper, Rosaline, Emmett and Carlisle racing into the forest.

A knock came at the door.

I didn't shout for them to come in but they did anyway.

"Hermione?" Came his voice.

I turned around quickly to see Edward standing at the door.

"I assume Jasper told you." I could see it in his eyes.

"Yes, he couldn't wait to tell us in fact." He replied.

"Then you're happy for me?" I asked, cursing the lump building in my throat.

Edward laughed slightly and smiled his crooked smile.

"I should be." He said, creasing his eyebrows together. "Yet I'm not."

I just nodded, unsure what to say or do.

"Just tell me how you feel about me. And maybe I can walk away." He said.

"What I will tell you won't make you walk away." I told him.

His eyebrows creased further together.

"Then can you explain why you are leading Jasper on." He said.

"I have to." I whispered angrily. "That is what is suppose to happen."

"Do you love him?"

I stood mouth open.

Edward just looked at me.

"For the first time in two months, I wish you could get inside my head. I am so confused right now and I thought you could give me some answers. I want to do what's best for everyone." I said, my voice croaky.

Edward looked at the floor, the anguish clear in his face.

"Do you love him?" He repeated.

I shook my head.

Edward nodded slowly.

"For some reason I didn't need to read your mind to know that."

"Then why ask?" I said.

"I needed to hear you say it."

We just looked at one another for what felt like hours but couldn't have been any longer than a few seconds.

"OK, I think I have my answers." He said, going to leave.

"No!" I yelled, grabbing his arm.

He looked at me.

"Please don't leave it like this. You have to tell me what to do." I pleaded.

He loosened his arm from my grip.

"Just like you said the right thing." He said.

"But what if it's not the right thing."

"Only you can figure that out, Hermione."

"Tell me how you feel about me, please." I said, the lump in my throat starting to hurt.

"What I have to say won't make you walk away." He said, leaving the room.

I kicked the door shut in frustration and held the scream back in my throat.

I breathed deeply, needing to breathe for the first time since being a vampire.

I heard Jasper and the other returning and tried to gain some composure.

The door slowly opened and I faked a smile as Jasper walked in.

He hugged me and kissed me.

"You OK?" He asked.

"Never better." I replied.


	13. Chapter 13

2 months had passed since Edward and I had kissed and even though I felt myself falling back in love with Jasper, my feelings for Edward were still strong.

Me and Jasper lay on my bed, his hand entwined into mine.

I looked out the window at the rainy damp weather and sighed.

"What you thinking?" Jasper asked me.

"Just looking at the weather. I love the rain." I told him.

"You're a weird girl, Hermione." He smiled.

"I might go hunting in the rain. I'm hungry too." I said.

"You want me to come with you?" He asked me.

"Only if you're hungry." I said, looking at him.

I knew by his expression he wasn't and that he didn't fancy coming out in the rain.

I laughed and put my hand on his face.

"You don't have to if you don't want too. I am sure someone else will come with me." I said.

He smiled.

"Edward was saying he might go hunting today." Jasper said.

I dropped my hand from Jasper's face. I didn't want to be left with Edward on my own.

"Did anyone else want to go?" I asked suddenly.

Jasper shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll ask."

He left my bedroom at his vampire speed.

Its fine I told myself. Someone is bound to want to come.

I went downstairs and saw everyone just doing their own thing, as usual in the Cullen household.

"It's just Edward." Jasper told me.

"You know what I am actually not that fussed. I am only peckish." I said, catching a glimpse of Edward.

"Don't be stupid. You said you love the rain." Jasper smiled.

He leant to whisper into my ear.

"I'd come but not while it's raining." He said, laughing at me.

"That's fine." I said before planting a hard kiss onto him.

As I finished I saw Edward laughing slightly which made me angry.

"See you soon." Jasper said as me and Edward left.

I ran as fast I could, leaving Edward as far behind as possible, which wasn't as far as I wanted.

I did love the rain on my vampire skin though; I didn't even feel a little bit wet.

My wet hair stuck to my face but again I didn't care. I smelt deer blood and I headed straight towards the deer. I pinned it down and heard the crack as I broke its neck.

Edward stopped next to me. He had also spotted something and he jumped onto another unsuspecting deer, killing in the same way I killed mine.

We both drank in silence before finishing.

Edward composed himself as I watched him. His silence made me angry.

As he went to run off, I grabbed his arm.

"Want to explain why you were laughing at me and Jasper?" I asked him, the anger building.

"I wasn't laughing." He said, smiling his smile that made me melt.

"You haven't spoken to me in two months." I said, the anger turning into hurt.

"You have been shacked up with Jasper, I don't think I have seen you not glued to one another's side." He said, loosening his arm from my grip.

I went to say something but I didn't know what to say.

"Yes well… I am in a relationship with him." I finally said.

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Ok." Was all he said.

"Don't question me like that." I said, a lump building in my throat.

This reminded me why we hadn't spoken in two months.

"I am not questioning anyone." He said, a serious look on his face.

I wanted to slap him. He was hell bent on making the situation worse.

I went to walk away.

"Although…" Edward started.

I turned to look at him.

"Two months ago you did tell me you didn't love him."

"A lot can change in two months."

"So now you love him?"

I just looked at the floor.

"Falling in love with him." I answered.

Edward just nodded.

We both just looked at one another.

"Then I won't question you any further." He said.

"Stop it Edward. Stop doing this. Why don't we talk about your feelings for once instead of mine all the time. Or are you to afraid to tell the truth for once in your life?!" I said, the anger getting the better of me.

Edward started at me and I watched as the rain dripped from off his golden hair and down into his face.

"You should understand Hermione that my feelings have to remain a secret as Jasper is like a brother to me." Edward said.

"I should feel like a sister to you then. Yet I know I don't" I said.

"I don't think you see how much this would hurt Jasper. It's quite selfish." He said.

I sighed.

"Just telling me how you feel would not be selfish."

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because it's only fair."

"It's not fair though. I can't see inside your mind to see how you truly feel."

"Then I'll tell you. I love you. I want to see what could happen between me and you. I feel different around you than I do around Jasper and that excites me. You have to remember Jasper just up and left me with no explanation and then turned me into this… monster! Through no choice of my own and in fact he sent his "brother" to do it for him. He has no-one but himself to blame." I said.

"And if Jasper had done it himself and killed you?"

"I was dying anyway." I informed him.

Edward sighed.

"The truth is Hermione I do have feelings for you. I do love you, but I also respect my family and I will not be the one that tears it apart." He said.

I just looked at him and nodded.

He was right. He had always been right.

I walked towards him and moved the piece of hair that was slowly falling into his face from the rain.

"I understand." I choked.

He took my hand and looked into my eyes. Even though we all had the same color eyes, Edwards were somehow so beautiful.

I took deep breathes as we just stared at each other, his fingers feeling their way around mine.

Suddenly he pulled me closer and wrapped his other hand around my waist.

His lips locked with mine and he kissed me passionately.

I completely forgot where I was and embraced the kiss, putting my hands through his hair.

He pulled me closer, pressing our bodies together as I pulled my fingers through his wet hair.

The kissing turned more passionate and more exciting as we got lost in the moment, Edward's tongue starting to caress mine.

He finally pulled us apart, both of us breathing heavily.

I couldn't say anything and neither could he.

We both just raced back to the Cullen's and acted innocent as Jasper gave me a towel to dry off.

I dried myself off as I watched Edward walk up the stairs.

I was only just getting my breathe back from that kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

Jasper and I sat on his bed and I watched as he twirled his fingers round mine.

I hadn't taken a breath in ages, a completely different subject on my mind.

Jasper smiled at me and I forced a smile back. Maybe I wasn't falling back in love with Jasper, I had been fooling myself.

Or maybe I was trying to make the choice easier by pretending Jasper meant nothing to me.

But looking into his eyes, I knew he did mean something to me. In fact he meant a lot.

All of a sudden the bedroom door opened and Alice stood in the doorway.

"Follow me, now." She demanded.

I was too scared not to obey so I did as I was told.

Jasper and I followed her downstairs where I saw Carlisle talking to Edward, the frustration written all over his face.

I panicked, had he just told everyone about our kiss in the woods?

"You can't go." Alice said.

I raised an eyebrow. Now I was confused.

"I know what is going to happen." I heard Alice whisper.

"Not if I go away for a few days." He said the pleading clear in his eyes.

I saw Alice nod slightly and the frustration on Edwards face deepened.

"What's going on?" Jasper finally asked.

"I am just going away for a few days. Just to sort my head out about certain things." Edward told us.

"Whatever problems this family has we work out together." Esme said.

Edward chuckled.

"There are no problems; I just want a few days on my own." Edward smiled.

"He is going to come back." Alice said.

We all looked at her. She was never wrong about these things.

"Thanks." Edward said.

We all watched him leave through the back door into the garage.

I looked at Alice and she looked at Esme and reassured her.

My breathing started to become heavy and I squeezed Jasper's hand before sneaking off into the garage.

I watched Edward's Volvo pull away. Without thinking, I jumped into Rosalie's red Porsche and followed him.

No way was I allowing him to run away from this. And Alice knew something and I wanted to know what she knew. Alice wouldn't tell me but Edward would.

* * *

I had been following Edward for about an hour when he finally pulled into a hotel at the side of the road.

I discreetly followed him onto the car park. Turning my lights off, I watched him walk into the hotel.

I decided to wait a moment before following him in. I knew he was going to be mad I had followed him so I had to pick my moment carefully.

BANG! The loud noise made me jump about a foot in the air as I turned to see Edward at the driver's window.

"Get out of the car." He instructed.

It was still raining and the rain was dripping down his face.

I did as he told me to do. He held out his hand and I put the car keys in his hand.

"Well this doesn't look suspicious at all. You and me gone to a hotel for a few days. Did you tell Jasper?" He asked me.

I just silently shook my head.

Ed Jasper and I sat on his bed and I watched as he twirled his fingers round mine.

I hadn't taken a breath in ages, a completely different subject on my mind.

Jasper smiled at me and I forced a smile back. Maybe I wasn't falling back in love with Jasper, I had been fooling myself.

Or maybe I was trying to make the choice easier by pretending Jasper meant nothing to me.

But looking into his eyes, I knew he did mean something to me. In fact he meant a lot.

All of a sudden the bedroom door opened and Alice stood in the doorway.

"Follow me, now." She demanded.

I was too scared not to obey so I did as I was told.

Jasper and I followed her downstairs where I saw Carlisle talking to Edward, the frustration written all over his face.

I panicked, had he just told everyone about our kiss in the woods?

"You can't go." Alice said.

I raised an eyebrow. Now I was confused.

"I know what is going to happen." I heard Alice whisper.

"Not if I go away for a few days." He said the pleading clear in his eyes.

I saw Alice nod slightly and the frustration on Edwards face deepened.

"What's going on?" Jasper finally asked.

"I am just going away for a few days. Just to sort my head out about certain things." Edward told us.

"Whatever problems this family has we work out together." Esme said.

Edward chuckled.

"There are no problems; I just want a few days on my own." Edward smiled.

"He is going to come back." Alice said.

We all looked at her. She was never wrong about these things.

"Thanks." Edward said.

We all watched him leave through the back door into the garage.

I looked at Alice and she looked at Esme and reassured her.

My breathing started to become heavy and I squeezed Jasper's hand before sneaking off into the garage.

I watched Edward's Volvo pull away. Without thinking, I jumped into Rosalie's red Porsche and followed him.

No way was I allowing him to run away from this. And Alice knew something and I wanted to know what she knew. Alice wouldn't tell me but Edward would.

I had been following Edward for about an hour when he finally pulled into a hotel at the side of the road.

I discreetly followed him onto the car park. Turning my lights off, I watched him walk into the hotel.

I decided to wait a moment before following him in. I knew he was going to be mad I had followed him so I had to pick my moment carefully.

BANG! The loud noise made me jump about a foot in the air as I turned to see Edward at the driver's window.

"Get out of the car." He instructed.

It was still raining and the rain was dripping down his face.

I did as he told me to do. He held out his hand and I put the car keys in his hand.

"Well this doesn't look suspicious at all. You and me gone to a hotel for a few days. Did you tell Jasper?" He asked.

I just silently shook my head.

Edward looked at me.

"Great." He whispered.

"Sorry." I whispered back.

"It's a bit late now. Come on." He said.

I followed him into the hotel.

It was quite posh hotel with a big reception.

The smell of all the human blood over took me though. And I held my breath to stop myself jumping on someone. It was overpowering and I held on the back of Edward's shirt. He didn't flinch or notice.

"Room for two please." He asked the receptionist.

She smiled at Edward and battered her eyelashes at him.

Stupid cow, for all she knew I could have been his girlfriend and here she was blatantly flirting with him.

Bet she wouldn't like it if I broke her neck and drained the blood from her.

I shook the thoughts out of my head.

Edward took the room key from her and I just carried on holding onto Edward's shirt.

We walked into the lift where a man, a woman and their two kids were inside as well. I took a sharp intake of breath and strengthened my grip on Edward. The kids smiled at Edward and smiled back. I couldn't smile at them, I'd have killed them.

We left the lift after what felt like hours and Edward opened the room door. I ran in and threw myself on the bed.

"You really don't think before you do things do you?" Edward asked as he closed the door.

"Yes well the last thing on my mind was human blood to be honest." I told him, my head in my arms.

I heard him chuckle.

"It should have been the first." He said.

I mocked him in my arms.

I heard him shuffling around and finally lifted my head to look at the room. It was beautiful; God knows how much Edward had just paid for this room.

I looked at him and he looked at me.

"So what things do you need to sort out?" I asked.

"A lot." Was all he said.

I scoffed at him.

"You can't run away from this." I said, getting up from the bed.

Edward shook his head.

"That is the last thing I want to do." He said.

I laughed again.

"So what do you call this?" I demanded.

"It's hardly running away from YOU when YOU follow me here is it!" He said, not raising his voice which was beginning to annoy me.

"Yes… well… You should have read Alice's mind and saw that I was following you." I said, trying to act smug.

"I have already seen what Alice has seen." He said.

"And?"

"And nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes, nothing. Nothing is ever going to happen between me and you because you are the love of Jasper's life and I care about Jasper too much to hurt because of your infatuation…"

"My infatuation!!!" I screamed at him. "Don't you dare make this one sided Edward because it is not. You kissed me in the woods, you told me you love me. So infatuation has nothing, NOTHING, to do with it."

I started to shake with anger.

"I lied. You make me sick how much you disregard Jasper's feelings for your own selfish attitude!"

I looked at Edward and my body went numb.

"You're lying now." I said, knowing if it was possible for me to cry the tears would have been flooding by now.

He shook his head.

"You're lying." I repeated.

I grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the wall.

"Please say you are lying." I said.

He just smiled his crooked smile and my heart melted as usual.

I loosened my grip from his shirt and slumped to the floor.

Edward grabbed my arm and lifted me so we were face to face.

Suddenly he pushed me against the wall.

I stared him in the eyes, suddenly scared.

"I'm lying." He said, before planting a hard kiss on my lips.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me into his body, my hairs entwining with his hair.

He started kissing my neck and I rubbed my hands down his back.

He grabbed my legs and pulled them around his waist, carrying me to the bed.

He slowly pushed me down onto it, his lips once again caressing mine.

I unbuttoned his shirt as he pulled my jumper over my head.

I was suddenly lost in the moment as Edward rubbed his fingers across my stomach.


	15. Chapter 15

I stared up at the ceiling, not sure quite what to do now.

Edward couldn't look at me and had been starting at the opposite wall for what felt like 20 minutes.

"Well… this is nice." I said sarcastically.

I heard Edward sigh.

"Are you not angry at yourself?" He said.

I mulled that thought over in my head. Should I be mad at myself? And if so what for?

"No." I finally answered.

Edward finally turned over, both of us starting up at the ceiling now.

"Alice saw this coming." He said. "That was the vision she had when I said I was leaving for a few days."

I just looked at him, a thousand questions running through my mind.

"So why did you still go?"

"Because I wanted to see if it would. Maybe because I wanted it to happen."

"Then why are you angry?"

"You don't see how much this is going to hurt Jasper do you?"

I sighed.

"Yes I do. I know I can be a selfish madam at times but I do realize how this affects Jasper. I am not stupid. But maybe, just maybe, I thought if it happened he would understand. I thought of a million ways to tell him without hurting him but there is no way. So I figured if it happened, if something happened, he would realize it was for real and not to purposely hurt him. I know that doesn't make any sense." I said, laughing slightly.

"It does." Edward said. "Are you still mad at him for leaving?"

"Yes." I answered "But I didn't think I would… fall out of love with him."

Edward looked at me and I looked back at him.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

So we just continued to lie there.

* * *

Edward handed the room key back to the receptionist and she looked at him all gooey eyed like a deer caught in the head lights. I scoffed at her.

As we walked to the car, Edward laughed.

"Sometimes I don't have to read your mind." He said.

I just looked at him and held my hand out for the car keys.

"Meet you back home." He said, putting the car keys in my hand.

I nodded, suddenly becoming nervous.

The drive to the Cullen's didn't take long and Edward pulled up right behind me.

We both walked in together and Esme was the first to greet us.

"Oh my gosh, where have you two been?" She asked, giving us both a hug.

I forced a smile at her, the guilt now beginning to take over me.

Alice came over next and I felt disgusted with myself as she looked at me.

Edward nodded at her and she sat back down.

Everyone now was in the living room looking at us but I could not meet Jasper's gaze.

He finally came over to me and went to hug me but I moved from him.

"Please don't touch me." I whispered.

He just looked at me and then at Edward.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I think we should let Hermione and Edward settle back in, it's been a long night." Carlisle said.

"What happened?" Jasper repeated, through gritted teeth.

I let out a little sob though no tears fell from my eyes.

He looked at me and I could see the pure anger in his eyes.

"You followed him and expected me to just accept it?" He said.

I couldn't speak; it was as though my voice had gone. I just shook my head.

"GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS!" He yelled, making me jump.

"Do I need to say it out loud?" I finally said.

Jasper took a deep breath and I stared at him. Everybody else was looking at Jasper as well.

"I should have known." He said.

"It's your fault." I snapped. I put my hand to my mouth, not realizing I had said that.

Jasper looked at me with that angered look on his face again.

"What?" He growled.

"I mean… it kind of is your fault." I said.

I saw Edward looking at me in shock.

"You just expected things to go back to the way they were right away, and I forced myself to try and love you again but I just couldn't so it pushed me closer and closer to Edward." I said. It was like verbal vomit, I couldn't stop myself.

"You sleep with him and then blame me?! Because I left you like 6 months ago. And you think that makes me forgive you?" He said.

"I don't want you to forgive me." I said. "I don't need you to forgive me. In fact I don't care if you don't forgive me! Ever! You left me with no explanation, no reason not even a see you soon. NOTHING! All those times you told me you loved me and I was your world. How we would spend the rest of our lives together and you couldn't even be bothered to tell me you were dying let along running off to become some deer eating vampire!! You couldn't even tell your own girlfriend that you were dying! And don't tell me you did it to spare my feelings because that's a lie. You did it because you are a coward! To cowardly to tell me you were seriously ill. To cowardly to face up to that fact and then you were too cowardly to come and turn me into a vampire. You sat here living your life of luxury while I starved myself to death, felt guilty and sorry for yourself so felt like you owed me. But instead of coming to do the favor yourself, you sent Edward to do it for you. I was dying anyway so if you had killed me who would of noticed the difference?! You actually expected me to waltz back into your arms and all would be forgiven but I can't look at you without being disgusted and disappointed, you are not a man you're a boy! A stupid cowardly little boy who takes the easy options out. And you are a liar if you say you knew nothing about me and Edward because you even to scared to face up to that fact. I am not saying I am not in any way to blame but none of this would have happened if you had just been straight with me from the start so don't you dare stand there and assume I want your forgiveness because you can stuff it Jasper!"

Now all eyes were on me but I just stared back at Jasper.

He looked at the floor and then looked at Edward before leaving the room.

I stared back at the Cullen's and sighed.

"Please excuse me." I left and ran upstairs to my room.

I grabbed a bag and stuffed as much stuff as possible in it.

As I pulled it downstairs, Alice was at the bottom.

"Don't go." She said.

"I have too." I said pushing past her.

"It will be fine." She said, grabbing my arm.

I pulled my arm.

"That's the first time I have not believed you, Alice." I choked.

The Cullen's all looked at me and I looked at Edward.

"Please no-one follow me, my mind is made up." I said.

"Where will you go? This is your home." Esme pleaded.

I shook my head.

"I don't deserve to call this my home." I said. "Thank you for you hospitality and I am sorry I ruined it."

I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and I went to leave. Edward grabbed me and I stared into his topaz eyes.

"Don't…" He started.

"You said it would be you who would rip this family apart but the truth is it's me. So I am leaving so you can fix it. Your brother is more important to you than I am." I said, stroking his cheek.

I looked at the Cullen's one last time before closing the door behind me.


	16. Chapter 16

I tried to change my plans a few times to throw Alice away from knowing where I was going.  
I was standing in the airport with my breath held trying to pick a place off the board as the flights rolled down.  
I had once again forgotten about the fact human blood sang to me and it was hard having thousands of people rushing pass me.  
"Venice is in Italy you idiot." I heard an old lady tell her husband.  
And it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Italy.  
I walked towards the sales desk and the woman looked up and smiled at me.  
"Can I help you?" She asked me politely.  
I forced a smile back and tried to resist the fact her blood was singing for me to drink.  
"Do you have any flights going to Italy?" I asked her.

* * *

I put my earphones in to watch the film that was playing on the TV and tried to ignore the fact that once again I was trying to resist all these humans. I should have walked to Italy.  
The air hostess came and asked if I wanted anything. I shook my head.  
All of the sudden the woman sitting next to me reached over me. I gasped and held my breath. The woman just looked at me and I tried to look somewhat normal.  
I don't think it was working.  
She gave me a weird look and went back to reading her book.  
This was going to be hell.

* * *

I stepped out the airport and quickly put my hood up of my jacket as the Italian sun beamed down on me. The last thing I needed to do was sparkle in front of everyone and blow my cover.  
By this time I knew Alice had figured my plan and was telling Jasper. He probably didn't care, he had every right to hate me.  
Or would she tell Edward? Would Edward care? I shook my head and put my head down as I slid into a taxi.  
Keeping my head down, I ask the taxi driver to take me to Volterra.

* * *

I looked up at the building and was taken aback by its beauty, it shocked me as I know about the monstrosity that lived inside. I slowly pushed back the big wooden door and stepped inside.  
I finally pulled my hood down and looked around the stone walls. There was another door but this time it was caged. I tried to pull it open but it was locked.  
Now I was unsure of my next step. There was exactly a doorbell or anything.  
As I turned back to the caged door a young vampire stood the other side.  
"Can I help you?" He asked.  
"I'm Hermione Granger. I'm... erm... here to see Aro." I said, the nerves clear in my voice.  
"Does he know you are coming?" He asked me.  
I shook my head.  
"No but he will remember me." I said, trying to get some confidence back into my voice.  
"She can come in." I heard Jane's voice from behind me.  
The vampire turned to look at her then looked back at me.  
He slid the door open and motioned for me to come inside.  
Jane smiled at me which scared me slightly.  
"Aro will be most pleased to see you." She informed me.

I followed Jane and the other vampire down to a reception where a young lady greeted us.  
I held my breath. She was human.  
And they had walked straight past her without as much as a blink. How did they manage it? And how come they had a human working for them? Did she know what they were?  
I finally entered a big room where Aro, Marcus and the other vampire who had turned up at Carlisle's party where sitting.  
Aro smiled as he saw me.  
"Ah Hermione, to what do we owe this pleasure?" He said, walking towards me.  
I felt nervous.  
"I... erm... left the Cullen's." I said.  
Aro looked at me confused.  
"Why?" He asked.  
I just shook my head, I could see it frustrated him that he couldn't read my mind to figure out the problem.  
"It's a long story. I was hoping I could stay put here for a while." I asked, expecting them to laugh at me.  
"Of course Hermione. You are welcome at anytime." Aro smiled.  
I just nodded now unsure of what to say. I whispered thanks.  
The big door burst open and in walked a young vampire, who looked about the same age as Jane, and a tall dark haired vampire followed by about 10 Italian people. They all looked so frightened.  
I stood behind Marcus' chair as he stood up, staring hungrily at the humans. All the others had the same hunger look on their face. I continued to hide, knowing what was coming next.  
Aro took a young girl who looked about 13 out of the people and looked deep into her eyes.  
I couldn't watch as I heard her neck crack and her body slump the floor. The room filled with screams which were quickly silenced.  
I took deep breaths as I slid down the chair to the floor.  
What was I thinking?


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey, I realised how bad Hermione seemed in the last couple of chapters so I tried to give her a bit of redemption in this chapter. Don't know if it work or not haha.**

**Thanks for all your reviews so far anyway, I love reading them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything =(**

* * *

I had been with the Volturi for two weeks and had heard nothing from the Cullens.

I know I had no right to expect anything from them after how I had treated them. I had been a horrible person; I had thrown their hospitality back in their faces. Worse of all I had treated Jasper like he meant nothing to me and deep down I knew he did. In fact he meant a lot.

All this time I had blamed Edward and it was me. I was the horrible, selfish ungrateful person.

There was a knock at the door and Jane walked in and sat next to me.

"What's troubling you, Hermione?" She asked.

I just shook my head.

"I just ruined everything." I said.

"But how? You looked so happy at the Cullen's." She asked.

I knew she was probing me for answers.

"I was happy there." I said bluntly.

Jane looked at me.

"It won't hurt to tell us you know." She smiled.

I just shook my head.

"I'm not ready." I whispered.

* * *

I tried to put my fingers in my ears to drown out the sounds of peoples screams but it wasn't helping at all.

The sound was the most horrifying sound I had ever heard and even though they had tried to convince me to eat human blood, I still continued to eat animals.

I sat with Aro, Marcus, Caius, Jane and Felix and didn't really listen to their conversation until I heard Jane say my name.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"It seems as though you have visitors." She said.

I could see Aro smiling as the door opened.

Demitri came in followed by Edward and Jasper.

I stood and walked towards them, not really believing my eyes.

"How nice to see you two again." Aro said, getting up as well and standing behind me.

Edward and Jasper both stared at me and I looked back at them.

"Hermione seems to have fitted in really well." Aro said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

Jasper flinched.

"She needs to come home." He said.

I looked down at the floor.

"Forgive me Cullens but we are unaware of the events leading to Hermione coming to stay with us." Jane said from behind me.

"It's a personal matter." Jasper answered.

But I could feel that Aro was thinking and remember that he could read every thought Edward had ever had.

I saw Edward look at him and finally Aro let go of me and walked over to Edward and Jasper.

Oh dear me was all he said.

"You two shouldn't be here." I finally said.

"Hermione, we want you to come home." Jasper said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's where you belong."

I shook my head and just looked at the floor.

"You should hate me Jasper." I said.

I looked at him and he was just staring at me.

"Well I can't." He said.

I wanted to cry. I felt as though the tears would release all the emotion I was keeping inside of me.

I looked at Edward who was looking at the floor which made me angry.

"I'm staying here." I finally said.

"Please Hermione..." Jasper started.

"No. My mind is made up." I said.

Jasper gave me a pleading look.

"I can't be the one to break the family up Jasper. You welcomed me into your family and all I did was rip it apart." I said.

"Everything you said about me was true. All of it." Jasper said, taking a step closer to me.

I shook my head and smiled.

"I'm the coward. And I knew that all along. I just tried to blame somebody other than myself to make me feel better. I don't deserve to go back to the Cullens." I said.

Jasper had walked even closer to me and he took my hand.

"Let's be cowards together." He smiled.

I felt my heart crack in two as he said those words and I couldn't help but look over his shoulder at Edward, who was still looking at the floor.

"I don't deserve you most of all. All you ever did was try to help me and I threw it all back in your face. How can you forgive me?" I asked him.

"Because I love you." Was all he said.

I could sense the fact every single member of the Volturi was staring at me and Jasper right now and I began to feel self conscious.

Nobody said anything for a couple of minutes but it felt like hours.

"Please say something Hermione." Jasper finally broke the silence.

I stared into his golden eyes and realised they were just as beautiful as Edward's.

"I can't Jasper." I let go of his hand and walked back towards the Volturi.

Jasper looked at me.

"Alice said you'll come home. Just remember that." Jasper told me, before walking past Edward and leaving.

I looked at Edward who had finally stopped looking at the floor.

I didn't know what I wanted him to say but his silence was killing me.

"This isn't your home Hermione. So just please come home." Was all he said as he turned to leave.

"Nice to see you Edward." Aro shouted after him.

Edward turned and smiled slightly and left.

I felt numb as it was just me and the Volturi left in the room.

"That was intense." Jane said.

I smiled. She was right that was intense.

I turned to Marcus remembering his power.

"Marcus, can I ask you a question?"

* * *

Sitting in the airport, I had never been so resistant to human blood.

I don't know whether it had been because of the horror of seeing it actually happen in front of my own eyes at the Volturi or whether it was because I had other things on my mind.

I managed to last the long flight as well and I was feeling quite proud of myself.

But as I reached the Cullens front door, I came crashing back down to earth.

It didn't feel like home anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

Before I even had chance to step into the house Alice had pulled me into a hug.

"I knew you would come back!" She said.

I smiled into her hug.

"Yes well you have an advantage when it comes to things like that." I said, pulling out of the hug.

She smiled sheepishly.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room where all the Cullens were sitting.

The guilt flooded over me once again.

Esme walked towards me and gave me a hug.

I gave her one back, more guilt sweeping over me.

As Esme pulled out of the hug I took a look at the family. They were all smiling at me.

Well apart from one of them.

"Welcome home." Esme said.

I laughed slightly. That didn't seem true.

I shook my head.

"It's a flying visit." I said.

Esme's smiled dropped.

"But why, Hermione?" Emmett piped up.

I sighed. I didn't know how to answer that without sound ungrateful. And I was grateful for all they ever did for me.

"Because I ruined it." Was all I could think to say.

Emmett looked at me confused.

"No-one is mad at you." Alice said, from behind me.

I laughed again.

"At least one of you is, trust me. I don't need to be a mind reader to know that." I said.

Edward finally looked up at me but he still had the stern look on his face.

All the Cullens were now looking at me and I felt the need to cry. I cursed my vampire body for not allowing me to do that.

"I want to thank you all so much. I don't know what would have happened to me without you but I can't stay here." I said.

"Hermione can we talk?" Jasper said. "Alone."

I looked at him and nodded.

We walked upstairs into his room.

I sat on his bed as he stared out the window.

"No-one wants you to leave." He said, still looking out the window.

"No I don't want to either but I have to."

"But why?"

"Because Jasper I was a complete idiot. A selfish bitch even and everybody in this family has been nothing but nice to me and I threw it all back in their faces. How can you want me to stay after what I did, after what I said?" I stared up at him.

He sighed and finally looked at me.

"Because I love you and everyone makes mistakes but I forgive you. You were always going to feel some kind of connection to Edward as he was the one who turned you into a vampire and I was stupid to think that would never happen." He said.

"Please don't blame yourself." I whispered.

"But don't you see? You were right. This is all my fault. I ran away and just left you..." He started.

"And I handled in typical Hermione fashion. Make it all about myself, act like a diva. You were dying..."

"But you didn't know that because I didn't tell. I was so much of coward. That word sums me up perfectly." Jasper said, now kneeling in front of me.

"No it sums me up perfectly. Along with a lot more stronger words." I said.

He smiled at me.

"I am on my knees here Hermione. Don't leave." He said.

I put my hands on either side of his face and stared him in his golden eyes.

I kissed him and then pulled away.

"I have to." I said. "I need time away to think, to be away from here. I am not saying I will never come back. It will just be a holiday."

I smiled at him but he didn't smile back.

"Then I'll come with you." He said.

"No I need to be away from you as well. I need time to clear my head." I said.

He looked at the floor and I put my hand under his chin and pulled his face up to look at mine.

"You are too good for me." I said.

He shook his head.

"Don't say things like that." He said, a sadness in his eyes.

I kissed him on the forehead, got up from the bed and left his room.

I heard Edward playing the piano as I walked past his room.

I opened the door slightly and he stopped playing.

"Can I come in?" I said.

He nodded.

I walked in and closed the door behind me.

I sat down on the piano chair next to him.

"I love that song you play on this." I said, pressing a random key.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile.

"I called it Hermione's song." He said, looking at me.

I nodded and looked back at him.

"Thanks." I said.

"Where are you going to go?" He asked, his eyebrows creasing together.

"I think I might go to Africa for a few months. Zafrina said I was welcome to visit them whenever I wanted to so I am going to take her up on the offer." I smiled.

"I don't want you to go." He said, staring at the piano. His eyebrows creased harder together.

"You have a funny way of showing it Edward." I said.

"I know. Because it's not right for _me _to be the one begging you to stay." He said.

I nodded.

"Then that says a lot don't you think?" I said.

He finally looked at me.

"Maybe it does." He said.

I felt a sting in my eyes as they once again refused to let the tears through.

"Right I best be off." I said, getting up from the seat.

Edward grabbed my hand.

"I love you." He said.

I stared at him straight in his eyes. His beautiful eyes.

I slowly took my hand out of his.

"Then show it." I said, leaving the room.


	19. Chapter 19

**6 months later-**

I sighed to myself and looked up at the stars.

It was a beautiful clear night and it made me smile to myself.

Africa was a beautiful but I knew deep down I missed the Cullens.

All of them.

I felt someone sit next to me and turned to see Zafrina.

"All you do is sit here and think." She said, smiling at me as she did so.

I laughed slightly.

"I like it."

"What you thinking about?" She asked.

"The Cullens." I told her truthfully

Zafrina nodded silently.

I had told her everything that had happened and I was grateful that Zafrina hadn't judged me.

"Maybe this all boils down to the fact that one day you will have to make a choice." She said.

I sighed. I hated people reminding me of that fact.

"Well I pick neither of them." I said.

I heard Zafrina laugh.

"We both know that's not true." She smiled.

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Don't you ever think of going back?" She asked me.

"All the time but I don't deserve to go back." I sighed.

"Hermione, it's easy to beat yourself up about things like this but the Cullens clearly loved you and they clearly don't hate you for what happened." She told me.

"Don't you like having me here?" I asked, sensing that this was going somewhere.

Zafrina eyes widened with shock.

"Don't be silly Hermione it's just you were at the Cullens for a very long time and..." She started.

"Plus there is a wedding to plan and Rosalie needs another bridesmaid." The voice sang out.

I recognised it instantly and I couldn't help but jump up from my seat.

"Oh my God, Alice!" I said, running into her open arms.

She hugged me back and I couldn't help but smile at her when I pulled out of the hug.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Bringing you home. Rosalie and Emmett are getting married and you are invited." She smiled.

"I..." I started.

"Eurgh Hermione at least come just for the wedding we are not asking you to come back forever." She said, but not in a nasty way.

I laughed slightly.

"We are all going." Zafrina said from behind me.

I smiled again at Alice.

"Oh I suppose if there is a wedding." I said.

Alice cheered.

* * *

There was a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach as we arrived at the Cullens house.

It hadn't changed at all in the six months since I had been gone.

I walked inside and Esme was the first to greet me.

"Hermione!" She said, hugging me.

I smiled at her.

"I hope this is going to be as big as party as last time. Well we no visit from the Volturi." I smiled.

Esme smiled back at me.

"Of course it is. So glad you could make it." She said.

"Well it's a special occasion." I smiled.

All of a sudden someone grabbed my waist from behind and spun me around.

As they put me down, I turned to see Jasper smiling at me.

"You're home." He said.

"It's a flying visit." I said quickly.

His face dropped but I ignored it as Emmett came bouncing towards me.

"Yeah Hermione made it." He said, pulling me into a massive hug.

If I had been human it would have definitely knocked the breath of me.

I was unsure how to react when Rosalie walked towards me but she pulled me into a little hug.

"You need a bridesmaid's dress fitting." She said.

* * *

Alice was sticking pins in the dress here, there and everywhere but I didn't say anything or offer my opinion.

She would never have agreed with it and I pretty much trusted her to make it look beautiful.

"Aren't you nervous?" I asked her.

"About what?" She said, with a pin in her mouth.

"About standing next to the most beautiful vampire in the world! And she will be in a wedding dress." I said.

"She's the bride; she is supposed to look the most gorgeous." Alice said, sticking another random pin in.

"Yeah but we are gonna look like the ugly step sisters next to Rosalie." I said.

Alice stood up with her hands on her hips.

"Are you saying I am ugly, Miss Cullen?" She smiled.

"Miss Granger." I corrected her.

She looked at me confused.

"Don't you consider yourself a Cullen?"

"Not anymore." I said, trying to mess with the dress so I didn't look to upset.

She slapped my hand.

"Stop messing, I am dress maker. Anyway stop trying to distract me. You are a Cullen." She said, starting to sound offended.

"How can you want me to be part of your family after what I did? How can any of you want me at this wedding? You should all hate me and be thankful that you don't have some trollop like me associated with your name." I said.

I slumped to the floor and put my head in my arms.

"You are stupid sometimes." Alice said, putting her hand on my arm. "Does it look as though Jasper hates you?"

"Well he should." I said, not taking my head out of my arms.

"But he doesn't." She said. "Now stand up so I can get this dress finished."

I sighed and stood back up.

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror as Alice finished the last piece of the dress.

It was beautiful. A nice pale shade of pink and it fell all the way to the floor.

Alice, like I had expected, did a magnificent job.

"Stay there while I get your tiara and flowers. Then you'll know what it will all look like tomorrow." She smiled.

I laughed slightly as she sped out the room.

As I admired myself in the mirror, I caught a glimpse of Edward standing at the door.

"You look beautiful." He said.

I stared at him.

"Thank you." Was all I could say.

Edward nodded and looked at the floor, clearly thinking deeply.

"Save me a dance tomorrow." He asked, finally looking back up at me.

"Definitely." I said.

Edward nodded and left the room.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

This wasn't an easy choice to make.


	20. Chapter 20

I sat next to Zafrina, who look stunning.

She turned and looked at me.

"Your dress is beautiful." She told me.

I smiled slightly. For some reason a nervous feeling was stirring in the pit of my stomach.

One of the first human feelings I had gotten since becoming a vampire.

"Alice made it." I told her, fiddling with the flowers.

"Stop it." She said, playfully hitting my hand.

"Why am I so nervous?" I asked her.

Zafrina shrugged her shoulders, which didn't really help.

I nodded and looked down at my feet hoping Zafrina would say something to make me feel better.

I saw a pair of black shoes standing in front of me. I looked up to see Jasper smiling down at me.

"Wow Hermione... you are gorgeous." He said, not taking his eyes off me.

I laughed nervously.

"I don't feel it." I said.

"You'll be fine." He said, kneeling in front of me.

He put his hand on mine. "Trust me."

I took an intake of breathe. He had given me the reassurance I needed with two simply words.

* * *

The ceremony was simply breathtaking. It was pretty clear Alice was given permission to go all out with designs.

But it wasn't over the top. It was elegant and well suited to Emmet and Rosalie.

Rosalie, as I had expected, looked amazing. Her blonde hair was curly and ran down to her waist. And her dress was white and flowed into a long trail.

I hadn't been prepared for how Edward was going to look though.

It nearly knocked me off my feet. Despite wearing exactly the same as Jasper and Carlisle, there was something about Edward. There was something about how beautiful this boy was.

We were all now sitting in the Cullen's living room which all the furniture had been moved from to make room for people to dance.

I noticed Tanya and her family. She was another one who looked gorgeous and she was outrageously flirting with Edward, which bothered me.

Rosalie came over to me.

"Thanks for coming." She said.

"I got to be honest Rosalie I didn't think you would miss me not being here." I told her.

She sighed.

"I don't really like you for what you did but you're still family." She said.

I scoffed.

"I hate the fact you use that word for me." I said, looking straight across the room.

"But don't you see that you are? Yes you made a mistake, a massive mistake but look around. No-one is punishing you for it but you." She said a sympathetic look on her face. A look I had never seen her wear before.

I didn't know what to say.

"What happens next?" I said. "Someone is going to get hurt and just opens up the same can of worms."

"You want to stop someone from getting hurt do it sooner rather than later. The longer you prolong this, the more it hurts." She said.

That last sentence was aimed at me and she was right. But surely I was the one who should have been hurt. Why hurt Edward and Jasper?

I laughed slightly.

"I always thought you hated me." I said.

"I never hated you." She said, before leaving to speak to Carmen.

I felt someone lean against the wall next to me.

I turned to see Edward, still looking intimidatingly beautiful.

"You owe me a dance." He said.

I smiled and took his out stretched hand.

We started dancing and couldn't help but look into his eyes.

"I bet you want to know what I am thinking." I said.

He smiled the crooked smile I had missed.

"You sure you're not a mind reader?" He said.

"Sometimes I don't have to be." I smiled.

"So... what are you thinking?" He asked.

"Nothing." I told him honestly.

He laughed slightly.

We didn't say anything as we continued to dance.

* * *

It was God knows what time at night and Carlisle was having a heated discussion with Eleazar about something I didn't quite understand.

I sat there looking confused before someone put a hand on my shoulder.

I turned to see Jasper and followed him when he motioned for me to go outside.

"Oh thank God I am not listening to that anymore." I said, once we got outside.

Jasper grabbed my shoulders and pinned me against the wall.

"I am tired of tip toeing round now Hermione. I am just coming out with it." He said a frustrated look on his face.

I just looked back at him confused.

"I love you and I want you to pick me." He said.

I opened my mouth to say something but I didn't know what to say.

I just looked at him.

"I love you too." I told him.

He went to kiss me and I put my hand up.

Jasper looked at me and I looked back at him.

"You love me so what is stopping us?" He said.

"I love Edward too." I said.

"Do you love Edward more?" He asked.

I pondered that question for a moment.

Finally I looked into Jaspers golden eyes, remembering their original green colour.

I simply nodded.

Jasper's hands fell from off my shoulders.

"It's Edward and deep down it's always been Edward." I told him.

Jasper looked at the floor and stayed silent.

"Say something." I begged.

"I think deep down I always knew that." He said, lifting his head up to look at me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

Jasper shook his head and scoffed.

"I asked Marcus about it, just to get an outsiders opinion. And he senses it. He senses the relationships. And he said even though there is something between me and you, he has never something as strong as what there is between me and Edward. I didn't know if I believed him at first that's why I went to Africa. How could I just diminish what you and I had? But coming back here, it made me realise. He was right." I told Jasper.

He just continued to look at me.

"I'm sorry for ever turning you into a vampire. I am sorry for ever saving your life." Was all he said before leaving me standing there.

I stood there in complete shock unable to move.

I wanted to cry so bad that my eyes began to hurt.

Finally I ran into the woods as fast as my feet would let me.


	21. Chapter 21

God knows how long I had been running. It felt like ages yet I felt like I could run for hours more.

Finally though I stopped somewhere deep in the middle of the woods.

I sat down on the grass in my bridesmaids dress and sighed.

I really needed to cry, it was frustrating me so much that I couldn't release the tears I so desperately needed to.

In anger I stood up and screamed as loud as I could. This just made me more angry and I began kicking trees and punching them, screaming as I did so.

I stopped and looked at the tree I had been taking my anger out of it. It was about to fall down so I kicked it to put it out of its misery.

I took a deep breath and slumped back down to the floor, putting my head in my arms.

I suddenly heard footsteps but didn't bother my head to look up to see who it was.

"That poor tree. Did being in the Amazon teach you nothing?" Zafrina said.

I laughed slightly and finally looked up.

"Sorry." I whispered.

She shrugged her shoulders and sat down next to me.

"Did you follow me?" I asked her.

"Maybe. I saw you and Jasper outside and then he came in looking very angry. Next thing I know you had sped off." She said.

I nodded and mouthed yeah.

"I assume the decision has been made." She said.

I laughed again.

"You make it sound like it's the most important decision in the world." I said.

"To you it is." Zafrina said.

I just shook my head.

"Why Edward?" Zafrina asked me.

I went to answer her but didn't know what to say.

"Because that felt right. I don't know why. I have known Jasper long, a year ago I would have said he was the love of my life but now... eurgh I don't know." I said, putting my head back on my arms.

"You know what I think? I think deep down you have never forgiven Jasper for lying to you and leaving you. I don't you have forgiven the fact he sent his brother to save you. You then felt a connection to Edward as he technically save your life and turned you into what you are now. And all that on top of Marcus telling you that Edward was who you were truly meant to be with has led to you choosing him." She said.

I mulled over what she just said.

"Maybe you're right." I said, lifting my head from my arms. "But I never meant to hurt anyone."

"I think Hermione; it was inevitable that _someone _was going to get hurt." She smiled at him.

I forced a smile back.

"Now come back to the Cullen's" She said getting up and putting out her hand for me to take.

I shook my head.

"I just want to be on my own for a bit." I said.

Zafrina nodded and turned and left.

I put my head back in my arms but seconds later more footsteps approached.

I looked up to see Edward looking painfully beautiful in his suit.

He stayed silent as he sat down next to me.

I looked at him as he creased his eyebrows together.

"I never put up a fight for you." He said, quietly. "Because I never wanted to hurt Jasper's feelings. I want you to know that."

"Truth is Edward; I don't think I needed you to put up a fight." I replied.

Edward just nodded.

"But we have hurt his feelings anyway." I said.

"I should never have agreed to turn you into a vampire. Then we wouldn't be in the mess." Edward said.

I shook my head.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. Zafrina just said something to me which made perfect sense and deep down I think it would have happened whether you turned me or Jasper." I said.

Edward smiled his crooked smile.

"I shouldn't have done it but for some reason I don't regret doing it." He said, looking at me.

I smiled looking back at him.

"So what happens now?" I asked him.

"What do you want to happen?" He said.

"I want to be with you." I replied.

Edward smiled and put his hand under my chin.

Leaning into each other, we kissed and I knew straight away I had made the right decision.

Edward looked into my eyes as he pulled from the kiss.

"Jasper is not going to let us be together." Edward said.

"Then come back to the Amazon with me. Let all this die down." I said.

Edward let go of my chin and sighed.

"They are my family." He said.

"No I know that but it will just be a holiday. We will come back." I pleaded.

Edward looked at me again and took my hand.

"Maybe you're right." He said.

I smiled and hugged him as tight as I could.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Edward hugged me and back. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, Hermione." He said.

"I love you too." I replied.


End file.
